I am not out at all to family yet. This is going to become a problem this summer. When school lets out, I like to go stay with my grandparents until a little before school starts. My grandmother ALWAYS takes me back-to-school shopping for clothes. When I was younger I picked jeans (female jeans) and graphic t-shirts (guy t-shirts) because that's what I was comfortable in. After much badgering from her and my mom that I should dress more feminine, I have chosen girly, floral shirts or lacy dresses (this is before I realized I was trans, this will be my first summer with my identity) and I always felt so distant from myself when I picked those kinds of clothes out. It felt like I wasn't there and I wasn't me. My mom, unquestioningly, let me get nothing but guy clothes for my birthday which made me feel really good. I think when we go shopping I will tell my grandmother that my mom lets me get guy clothes and they're just more comfy (which is true). However, next year I have prom to worry about. My mom is so excited to go dress shopping, but I really,really, really, really want a suit. I want one so bad. It would really make me feel like the man I know I am. I feel like I could ask her for a suit instead and her not have a problem, but you never know. My mom thinks prom is a special time and probably doesn't want me to do anything "silly". If she gives me this response, I may just come out. That way I won't have to fight to buy male clothing anymore. I could finally get a legitimate binder. I think my mom will already have the idea because I have referred to myself, vicariously, as male. For example, if My mom and I saw an old man doing something funny on a show or something I would say "That's me as an old person!" Or even if we saw a dad do something funny I would say "That's me as a parent." I do this with both genders so my mom doesn't question me, but I do it more with male characters for sure. I've asked to see a therapist, but my kind of denied that because she's in therapy and wants to take care of herself first. This is another reason I think I should tell. She doesn't understand that I need one. She doesn't know that I need one. I always felt like I should wait YEARS until it's time to come out. That way I'm 1,000% sure. It will be a year I have identified with myself as male in October. I feel like it's too soon to come out, but maybe my thinking is a little skewed. What do you think?
If you're comfortable with it, then it might be a good idea to come out. Even if you think you were wrong later, than that's fine. People change and stuff. If you want to wait years to come out than that's okay too. Just make sure you're safe .
