I'm still just beginning my trans journey (a few months questioning, a few weeks of actively sorting it out), and am experiencing doubts. Just general thoughts of "what if I'm wrong about this," or "I can't be trans, I've worn skirts/dresses/makeup and enjoyed it," or "why didn't you know sooner? what if you're just using this to avoid other issues?" I'm sort of… shakily confident that I am transgender, but these doubts are a source of pretty significant anxiety. Who else has experienced these doubts? How did you move past them? :icon_sad:
These thoughts might mean you are not transgender, but most probably not. It is very rare for a cisgender person to doubt their gender. I think the majority of trans* people have these thoughts, including myself occasionally even after many years of identifying as transgender. I think we are just so used to being called female that anything slightly feminine that we do we turn into proof that we are not 'really trans*'. Remember that everyone has a feminine and masculine side, and many people only realize they're trans* way into adulthood. So in conclusion I would say you are transgender, although you are the only person who can really know that. These thoughts definitely don't make you any less trans though.
I think doubts are pretty common, in fact I'd say they're important to have, because it shows you're putting a lot of thought into it. I used to have lots of doubt, but it's less frequent now. For me, what really made me stop doubting so much was when I looked back on the rest of my life and found evidence of me being trans, and the longer I identified as trans, the certain my identity felt.
I think a lot of my doubt stems from insecurity about "not being a good man;" there are a lot of stereotypically "manly" things I can't do, or am not interested in. I'm scared that I can't be the kind of man I'd want to be (and I don't even know what that kind of man that is, yet.)
Keep living life and just see which feels "right." That's the only advice I've got for knowing what you really are. Don't worry about the labels yet.
