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I don't know if I'm trans

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by GeorrgiaOrJames, Apr 10, 2015.

  1. GeorrgiaOrJames

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Newcastle, England
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    I have very vivid memories of always dressing like a boy when I was little, picking boy characters in games, even googling why I wanted a penis at the age of 10. In primary school we would have to act out fairy tales and I would always be the prince and I remember copying how 'MattyB' dressed. My parents always bought me the boys clothes I wanted and my mum even told me I should have been born a boy. I have 1 memory of maybe liking a girl, but that may have been wanting to be her friend. I also used to clip my hair over my forehead to make it look shorter and I went outside to walk my dog like that. But once I got into secondary school, I started dressing like a girl and wearing makeup and straightening my hair. I've been in secondary school for 4 years now and I haven't thought about wanting to be a boy in a long time. However, now it's coming back and I've tried to bind a few times in my bedroom. I feel like if I really was transgender I wouldn't have 'forgotten about it' for 4 years, and I don't necessarily have dysphoria, as my body doesn't make me uncomfortable, I would just rather have the other one.
     
  2. Queero

    Regular Member

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    You could be genderfluid. So, you don't have physical dysphoria, but do you have any other form(s) of dysphoria? Do you wish people would see you as male?
     
  3. Invidia

    Invidia Guest

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    Location:
    Far above the clouds, gazing deep below the Earth
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Don't be so sure about that. Life has a way of forcing attitudes, beliefs, and other not-your-core characteristics onto you.
    Some basic questions might help, such as
    Would you call yourself a girl/woman, or do you think that is an inaccurate description of you? (I am guessing you don't, since you identify as trans male here, but just those kind of questions... :3 )
    Queero had a good one above too.
     
  4. NekoAlex

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Bulgaria
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I have a similar story to yours. I was typical transchild since the age of 3. But I was bullied in school a lot, because of acting like a boy and being weird. So I started copying the girls and tried to look and act like them, so I can fit in and be accepted. Also, when puberty hit, I realized that there is no chance to become a boy, so I just had to forget it. But I never felt right as a girl, always wished to be a boy and was jealous of men. For all of this time I've considered myself a masculine woman. I was thinking that I had forgotten it, but I hadn't. I was just in denial. It was only last year when I finally cut my hair and started dressing masculinely, I realized that I was something more than just "butch", because up to that point I was thinking that I will feel comfortable enought with myself if I just dress like a guy. But it was more than clothing and hair.

    Also, are you sure that you don't have any physical dysphoria? I didn't know I had any, before I started experimenting with my gender and thinking more about it. Then I realized that I've never felt comfortable with my body and what I've always thought were normal body issues, were actually related to my gender and my desire to look more masculine. Also, when I started dressing and presenting like a guy, I started feeling a lot more dysphoria, I was even overwhelmed by it. Like, it were feelings I've been surpressing for years, now coming on the surface.
     
    #4 NekoAlex, Apr 10, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2015
  5. 11th doctor

    Regular Member

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    I think u might have been in denial or just thought it could never happen and u would always be a girl and that is just how the world works and now your rethinking it so you think I would rather be a guy
    I have kind of a similar story I used to love dress up in kindergarten and I would always be wearing a dress and makeup and little pretty high heels I loved it then for a while I forgot about it and every once in a while I would play with my moms makeup and shoes even wear a huge dress. but that was only like 2-3 times a year so I never thought I was transgender but now I'm really starting to think about it and its all coming back and I've realized I'm bigender (I was born a male by the way)