1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Definition Of Cisgender And A Few Other Questions for Trans People

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by ZenMusic, Apr 10, 2015.

  1. ZenMusic

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2013
    Messages:
    1,015
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Middelsbrough, United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Male
    So I was arguing with someone today,and he said that cisgender implies heterosexuality, and that anyone who says otherwise does not know the meaning of the word. I told him this was incorrect because there are cisgender people in the LGBT community, and then asked him if we should say they are not cisgender because you added sexuality into the definition. He then, true to his word, called me an idiot, and said a cisgender person is someone who fits a gender role, and that one of the traits of a male gender role is heterosexuality. Is this correct?

    A lot of people seem to think it's silly that they HAVE to call Transgender people the opposite gender because of "how they feel", and go to the genitalia argument. How do you respond to this? People also have this same objection with bathrooms too...
     
  2. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    Wait, what?

    That makes no sense....of course gay people can be cis. And by linking the two together, he is also saying that a trans woman (for example) HAS to like men in order to be legitimate.

    I don't see the issue with bathrooms, especially when people are using "rapist!" mentality excuses. Most people just want to take a piss, not creep on others.
     
  3. gravechild

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2013
    Messages:
    3,425
    Likes Received:
    110
    Gender:
    Androgyne
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Gender =/= sexuality
     
  4. Austin

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2008
    Messages:
    3,172
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    A true man isn't always heterosexual. Cis means the person identifies and is comfortable with the body they were born with. For example: a person with a penis that identifies as male. Gay men fit into this category (unless you're a transgender man who likes men).
     
  5. Astral

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2015
    Messages:
    138
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto, Canada
    Well there are many trans people (like myself) whom identify as bisexual and many are 100% gay. Sexuality is a totally separate concept from gender, and the two can be anywhere on the spectrum regardless of the other.
     
  6. Jellal

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2014
    Messages:
    1,359
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Florida
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Honestly, when someone says this I don't have a good response to this. It just means that a lot of people don't think that other peoples' feelings are important. Which saddens me greatly.
     
  7. Im Hazel

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2015
    Messages:
    528
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Rural England
    You can say "if a man is hit a by a car and loses his penis, does that make him a woman?" And if they say "no, it's the genitals at birth", you can talk about intersex people. If they say it's about genetics, you can talk about people with XXY chromosomes and such. Personally, if someone said that to me, I wouldn't bother explaining. I would just walk away.
     
  8. Lazuri

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2015
    Messages:
    2,710
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Stockholm, Sweden
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    A cisgendered person is somebody who identifies completely with the same gender he or she was assigned at birth. That's like... The textbook definition. None of that bullshit he was spouting.
     
  9. Jinkies

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2011
    Messages:
    2,321
    Likes Received:
    47
    Location:
    Northern Ireland
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Yeah, cis just means you identify as what you were assigned at birth. There are het cis people, homo cis people (like my boyfriend), bi cis people, and so forth.

    As for pronouns, the best option is to call someone by what they identify as regardless of the gender, not the opposite sex by default.
     
  10. Queero

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2015
    Messages:
    277
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Indiana
    Okay.

    So, basically, sex=what body you are born into, male, female, intersex. You don't get to choose.

    Gender Identity is what you really are on the inside. Girl, boy, agender, genderfluid, and I'm probably leaving someone out, sorry. You also don't get to choose. No matter what anyone tells you, you do not get to choose your gender identity.

    Cisgender:
    "Cisgender is a word that applies to the vast majority of people, describing a person who is not transgender. If a doctor announces, “It's a girl!” in the delivery room based on the child's body and that baby grows up to identify as a woman, that person is cisgender."

    Gender identity is not really related to sexual or romantic orientation.

    And what? Masculinity is not about being attracted to women. That just buys into the old prejudiced idea that gay guys want to be women. Not true. Excuse me, but, honestly that's just a crock of shit.

    The proper response would probably not be to smack them, but it's what I want to do.
     
    #10 Queero, Apr 11, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2015
  11. AfraidandAlone

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2015
    Messages:
    222
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    British Columbia
     
  12. Just Jess

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2013
    Messages:
    1,237
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Denver
    So I get the feeling you're talking to us instead of your friend, for a lityle validation, because there was just no talking to your friend? Maybe they love to argue more than you? I agree with you and disagree with your friend.

    It is very hard to deal with people that have decided they know how the world works and want to explain how to everyone around them. If you just listen to them, they never seem to pick up the hint, hey, you have made your point, give me a turn and a chance to say how my world works now, you know? It's just one sided.

    The only way I have found to get past that, so people realize just how much they are tripping over their own feet when they try to communicate that way, this is what cisgender means and you're stupid for disagreeing, you just have to let how you really feel show. If you are hurt, or flustered, or rolling your eyes inwardly, let it show. That sort of person is going to be doing two things. Talking, and checking to see if their message got across. If they see "my message got across, but they didn't react 'right' ", it breaks the little loop. They ask you how you feel. And really listen.

    The other thing I have found, is that when you get your turn to talk, you get nowhere with "you're wrong". Instead, one thing that sometimes works is asking questions. You can uncover the truth they are trying to get across. Maybe even agree with part of what they said. Cis gay people are in fact not conforming to gender roles. If your aim is just to diffuse things, sometimes agreeing with part is enough to "settle" the conversation. You can also point out where their model falls short. "What would you call a trans person attracted to their destination sex pre coming out, or birth sex post transition? Cis?" . An answer like "that's a good question", I treat like success.