Does “wishing” I was a girl qualify as trans?

Not everyone experiences dysphoria. The whole "seeing someone else in the mirror" thing is kind of a cliché, and not all trans people experience that. The body hair thing isn't a strong indicator, as women naturally have body hair too and it's just a cultural thing for us to shave them. If you hate the idea of them being black and thick as opposed to the body hair most women have, that would be a stronger indicator that you may be trans*.

The fact that you say you think you wish to be a girl for the same reasons someone else would wish to be something that is perceived by them as better, is a slight trans* indicator. I don't think most cis men imagine being a woman would be a positive experience for them, but since you're currently identifying as a gay male, I could see how it would make you feel more "attractive" to potential partners. That fact is making this slightly more difficult than if you identified as a straight male, but you should be able to figure out whether the feelings stem from that or not.

I also don't know how cis people experience their gender, but I would guess wishing to be the opposite gender for more than a day or two is uncommon, especially since it's been that way over a longer period of time. How consistent is your experience? Do you feel it all the time, every day? Do you feel it sometimes and sometimes not? Only once in a blue moon? You would need to figure out the root cause for why you're wishing to be a girl, too.

For example, if you're wishing you could be a girl because it would make your life easier somehow, like how that would make you straight or how girls are allowed to wear makeup in our society without judgement; if your reasons are related to people's (including your own) acceptance of you, then you could possibly just need to accept yourself and let yourself do what you really want to do. You need to really spend time thinking about this, as I imagine a lot of people who are both non-binary and don't experience a lot of dysphoria could easily think this is what is going on when they really are trans*. For example if you feel like a girl some or all of the time for reasons that are not related to cultural attitudes or societal pressure, but genuinely feel that is who you are at the moment, you could very well be trans* even if you don't experience dysphoria. Wanting to be perceived as female by society would be an indicator that you're trans*, wanting female "societal rights" (makeup, skirts etc) would not necessarily be that.

Do you ever experience jealousy of girls, or wanting to be them when you see them out just living their life?

My guess says you're not binary trans, however I'm not you so I can't know, but it does sound like you might fall somewhere on the genderqueer spectrum. I hope some non-binary people post and help you out.

This post ended up slightly disorganized, but I hope it still makes sense. :lol: Good luck on your journey.

Note: I use trans* to cover all non-cis gender identities in this post, not just binary trans identities. I also identify very strongly as binary, so it would be good if you could get some non-binary perspective on this.

 

Hi! Well, most of all, I think, you don't seem all that well-informed about transgenderism. That's not a criticism! It's just I think it would help you to read up on it. You've the whole glory of the internet at your disposal, I'd recommend you do some reading

Trans can mean literally a million things. Like, more.
Transgender means, basically, you don't identify with the gender that was assigned to you at birth. You're DMAB (Designated Male At Birth). Do you feel comfortable with that? Do you feel like that, and everything that goes with it, is an accurate dscription of who you are? If not, you may well be trans in some way.

For example, I'm trigender. That doesn't mean that I identify with the opposite of what I was assigned, it means (for me, it may be different for others) I identify as female, male, and a third gender.
There are so many varieties of transgender identitites, including: Trans* female, trans* male, genderqueer, bigender, third gender, trigender, quadgender, pentagender, pangender, agender, genderfluid and so on and so forth. A lot of them overlap to varying degrees.
Again, I recommend that you look these and stuff up It might be that you feel that one or several of them explains you better than 'cis male'.
Best of luck!

 

On a factual level, gender is a controversial thing. That means there just isn't an agreement on what trans means. Sorry. We won't reach one soon either.

Living with that is hard. Coming out meant a crash course in politics, biology, self care (physical and mental), sharpening my speech and diplomacy skills, the works. The fact is everyone has an opinion regarding people like me, some of them have some power over me, and that is the game I have to play. Carving room to figure yourself out from all of that is almost a luxury.

But figure yourself out you must, and that includes figuring out what you mean when you say trans.

There are people like yours truly that have limiting conditions that make life sucky and difficult till we deal with them, related to gender.

If you feel like you want or even need to be a girl, you do. Whether you medically or socially transition should depend only on how much your need impacts your life, and whether change would make it better. If it's worth it to you. My medicine would make the wrong person's life worse, but that doesn't make their struggles any less real or painful. It means we are different and need different things, but not so different that I wouldn't be proud to share a label.

"I am trans" helps people understand me.

 

Don't worry, I dont think its silly to question whether you are trans or not. You don't have to hate your body to be transsexual, I've heard of many people who just feel more comfortable and satisfied associating themselves with a different gender. Also, while only you will know for sure, I don't really think your transsexual if its just a small moment where you just wish you were a woman, especially if you feel perfectly normal. Don't trust me completely tho, I'm questioning whether I'm trans myself!

 

I think this is complicated, and I don't think I am qualified to advise you. Try looking at some of the transgender resources on this forum (http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gende...nformative-threads-links-gender-identity.html). Then, if it feels right, you could go to see a gender therapist You need to be referred by your GP. (At least that's how it works in England. I assume Canada is the same.) From there you can do whatever feels right.