So, I feel like a massive tool now. I've been really strict with my friends regarding my preferred name, and now, I'm not sure if I even like it anymore. I don't feel like it resonates with me as well as some other names do, but now after all this time my friends have become even more used to the thought of me being Austin. Any advice on how I should tell my friends about the possible name change? I just kinda feel like this is going to annoy the shit out of all of my friends, especially considering their efforts to continue using my preferred name.
This is the hard part of trying to go by a name you think you might like. It's hard to know for sure whether you'll really like it, and the only way to know is by having it tested out for real. I'm in the exact same boat. How long have you gone by this new name?
Probably about 5 months now. I haven't been using this name with my family, just with my friends and now, it just doesn't feel right. It's good to know I'm not the only who has trouble with this. Have you told your friends/family about it? and if so, how did they react?
I've only been testing it out with my dad. I honestly don't have the heart to tell him that it's rubbing me the wrong way since he's trying so hard. I just feel like, since he's been making an effort, I should honor that effort ... and another part of me says, "well it's only been like a month, so it could be that you're not used to it yet." So maybe it is too early for me to jump ship? Gah. Time will tell. Yeah I've been hesitant to bring up a permanent name change with more people because if I'm not sure, then I'll have to take it back and it'll be harder for people to remember or keep things straight if I keep switching stuff up. I guess the worst outcome would just be people calling me by old names that I don't use anymore, and having to correct them, which I suck at for the record, I just grin and bear it—frown and bear it, whenever someone messes up what I prefer to be called. And I'm afraid the reality of it is, you'll have to deal with more people messing up your name the more you change it. But someone getting mad at you over a name change sounds extreme to me. I don't think that would happen with your typical person not bothered by inoffensive words.
I've just told one of my friends and he said to me this: "Well you can't just change it all the time" I've changed my name this one time. Due to my friends being relatively immature, not to mention ignorant of real trans* issues, I can guarantee the same reaction from all of my friends along with the whole "but we put in so much effort!" and "we just got used to calling you it!" It's good to know you've had the ability to get one of your family members to use your preferred name, that's really great. I personally haven't been able to.
I guess it boils down to two decisions, neither particularly pleasant. You keep the name without changing it, and deal with your friends calling you something that bothers you. You insist on a change, and deal with your friends whining. So I guess, which bothers you less? I'm not smart enough to think of a third option right now ... I'd like to think there's a way to get outside of the box on this one.
I'm going with the second option. I really don't want them using my old name, regardless of the fact that it's unisex. Thanks for this, Jellal (*hug*)
