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Advice for my fiance (trans man). (Coming out advice)

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by QueerBookLover, Apr 15, 2015.

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  1. QueerBookLover

    QueerBookLover
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    Hi everyone :slight_smile:
    I'm Emily, I'm 21 and I'm engaged to a trans man. He came out to me over a year ago and lets just say, I wasn't surprised :slight_smile: Since then he's picked a new name, we've got into the use of pronouns etc and all is well when inside our home or out as a couple. He hasn't been to the GP yet or took any steps in that direction though as he's absolutely terrified of coming out to his family and mine. His father calls him son, has since he was little so we know he won't even bat an eyelid (we (me & FIL) only discussed this morning how his neighbour recently came out as a trans guy and how he's going to help him!). The main problem really is his mother (who STILL tries to buy him girly things for xmas/birthday etc) and my parents who have grown INCREDIBLY close to him.

    I just wondered if you guys had any coming out advice for him, to tell his mother and my parents. I'd love to hear about your coming out stories :slight_smile:

    Thank you.
     
    #1 QueerBookLover, Apr 15, 2015
  2. Invidia

    Invidia Guest

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    Sidenote: I think this belongs under the coming out section, if an admin sees this, do consider :slight_smile:

    To answer your question.
    Congratulations on your engagement! :slight_smile:
    A general advice I can give to your fiance is to come out to the ones he feels most comfortable coming out to first; it might be a liberal sibling, or maybe his father first would be a good idea, before the mother. And keeping you close by would likely help a lot :slight_smile:
    That's not the most elaborate answer in history, I know ^^ Do you have any more specific questions?
     
    #2 Invidia, Apr 15, 2015
  3. Im Hazel

    Im Hazel
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    Pretty much what Triflow said. Is your fiancee nervous about this? Because having you with him could really help him. His father seems like he could be accepting, though. Talking to that neighbor would probably be good, too. Also, why does he need to consult his family before seeing a GP? He can be referred to a gender therapist to help with these things without starting HRT. In fact, seeing a professional is usually the first step in terms of physical transition. Meetings with a therapist could help his self-esteem, as well as with gender issues. That's what I am doing, and I'm not out to all my family...
     
    #3 Im Hazel, Apr 15, 2015
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