So I've been pretty confused for about a year whether I like the same sex sexually or not. When I was really little I had a best friend that I would mess around with, get naked and touch eachother. This stopped about 3rd grade until I was 13, we smoked weed for the first time, both were aroused and grabbed eachother through a blanket then stopped because I felt weird about it. Later that year a different best friend of mine were on vacation together and slept in the same bed. I masturbated with him next to me while he was sleeping and after it was done I felt pretty weird about it again. That same year I started noticing some guys were attractive. I didn't get aroused by looking at them but I questioned myself. These thoughts diss appeared for a while until my dad came out of the closet to my family. At this time I questioned myself again because I am his son. I noticed an attraction to a male friend of mine and. Would be upset if he didn't respond to a text or want to hang out. I never felt sexually aroused around him just attracted. I then had one of the most intense acid trips of my life and convinced myself the source of my social anxiety was because I was totally gay, and I was gay because my dad was and because of what I had done when I was younger. On the other side of things I have always been sexually attracted to girls. When I was 4 me and a girl would get naked together and roll around. I've also had a stream of girlfriends since I was 10. I do get sexually aroused beyond my control just from being with some girls I think are hot. There was one girlfriend however that I would just plain not want to have sex with sometimes. (About a year before my dad came out) at this point I tried watching gay porn and found out I could get off to it and I tried anal play and enjoyed it to some degree. The thought of doing something sexual with another male makes me feel strange/nervous. I don't know if I'm so far in denial about it that I've suppressed the ability to get aroused by a male or if I am just straight. Any help would be awesome because this does cause a great deal of stress for me.
This would probably be better suited for the sexual/romantic orientation threads. Regardless, it seems to me like you have some attractions to both guys and girls, so ... bisexual maybe? Pansexual? If you're curious about males in particular, well, let yourself feel your feelings. Stay open. It can be exciting to learn more about what you like, if you're less quick to judge yourself. If the answer turns out to be "well I like girls a lot more than I like boys" in the end, well hey, you wouldn't have known without giving yourself the opportunity to mull it over.
