For the past few years I've come to accept the fact that I might not be completely comfortable with my body as it is. I feel extremely uncomfortable in girl clothing so I often wear boy clothes. I have purchased a binder and I wear it under button down shirts now, I can't wear button downs without it or else I feel wrong. It looks good to me and I feel more comfortable when I wear that but I'm still aware of how others look at me. Basically I'm just confused as to what my gender may be. Right now I identify as genderfluid because that's what my family can understand but I think that I may be transgender. I'm just not 100% sure. I honestly feel uncomfortable in both, female and male sexes. My breasts, hips and voice make me uncomfortable but at the same time the thought of going under a sex change scares me. I'm not sure what to think or what to do. Prom is coming up and I feel really pressured to wear a dress but at the same time my girlfriend says that she accepts me either way, no matter what I choose to wear. I'm just really confused and would like someone's input on this situation.
It sounds to me like you may be androgynous or possibly neutrois(gender-neutral) How I see these things is like this Androgyne is basically,to me,a mix of male and female. It's neither one or the other. From what I've seen a lot of androgynous people embrace both masculinity and femininity.(but not everyone is like this. I've seen a lot of dfab people appear more masculine and dmab people appear more feminine. it really just depends on the person!) Also I know several androgyne people who want to undergo some sort of transition because their body makes them uncomfortable. But some are perfectly fine with binding and things like that. Androgyne, in my opinion, is more like you feel like your gender is between male and female as opposed to having no gender at all. Neutrois/neutral is pretty much just feeling like your gender is neither male/female or anything else. you don't have one basically. neutrois people appearance wise just depends on person to person. there's not set "look" (this applies for everyone of every gender though! You can be a cis male and wear make up and "feminine" clothes and still be a cis male) Although I do know a few neutrois people that go for an androgynous look. As for pronouns that is always a personal preference and doesn't matter what you identify as.You pick whatever pronouns you feel comfortable using!(It's also ok to test out different pronouns with your friends/people youre out to to get a feel for what you like best) You can choose he/she/they or even come up with a pronoun that is unique to how you feel (heres a list of neo-pronouns) Also, about transitioning, not everyone is comfortable transitioning. this goes for trans men/women too,not just non-binary people. I've met plenty of people who are iffy about transitioning. It doesn't make your identity invalid if you decide not to transition. I'm uncomfortable with the same things about my body and would like to transition in the future but that's after a ton of thinking. It's not something that you decide overnight and you should take time to educate yourself on it before making a final decision. What I would do is think about your identity first off. Then I would see about making an appointment with a gender therapist. You can work on things regarding your identity and become more educated on what the steps are in transitioning and the process. After that then I would say it's safe to make a decision! It's definitely something that takes time. What exactly about transitioning worries you though? If all else fails you can always just identify as non-binary and tell people your preferred pronouns and just do whatever makes you comfortable. Not everything needs a label but it's perfectly fine to try and find one that fits I hope I can be some help but if you have anymore questions please dont hesitate!
