Hey everyone! First time using this forum sooo that's exciting in a way. Anywhos down to the nitty gritty. I've been questioning my gender a lot recently. For the most part I feel male. I thought that I had it figured out pretty well and that I was 100% a trans male. Lately I've been having doubts, I feel that I bounce between male and gender neutral or that I may be a mix if that makes sense? I still have strong dysphoria about my chest and feminine voice. (I know for certain that I would want top surgery and to start hormones.) But sometimes I feel like I'm not 100% male and lean more towards neutral/androgynous. I'm not an overly masculine person either but at the same time im not exactly feminine.(i know masculinity and femininity have nothing to do with gender just figured I'd throw that out there) I'm still not sure exactly how to label that though. I really like being referred to as a boy(or at least male pronouns.) but what label would make the most sense in my situation? I apologize for the rambling! It's early morning and my thoughts are still kind of jumbled pfff. If anything needs clarifying please let me know! Also thank you so much for taking the time to read this!
I think it might be because I'm not sure if I'm completely comfortable being strictly male or female? I identified as neutral for a short time but was stuck with the idea that acting/wanting to appear more masculine than feminine = being male so I changed to demiboy. I don't have like a super strong want to have bottom surgery and honestly haven't given it much thought yet but I'd want top surgery and more than likely hormones. So basically in some ways I want to retain both masculinity and femininity if that makes sense? But I'm not exactly sure if thats more on the gender-neutral side or androgyne is pretty much what I'm trying to ask. I think that's what I'm trying to say? I hope it's not too confusing but thank you for replying!
I understand! I don't have a super strong urge for bottom surgery either, but I know that I will want top surgery (been dreaming bout having these things removed since puberty) as well as hormones, though maybe start out light on hormones if possible. For me I'm kind of starting to see myself as tri-gender lately, a mix of androgyne-boy-demiboy (sorry if that is confusing)
I don't feel like I "have to have" bottom surgery either. I mean, if it was easy and very effective I would probably do it, but I don't think I will be unhappy in the future if I don't get it. Top though, gotta have it. And hormones if I can would be great. And most of the time, I don't really feel like anything but just me.
