So, I just woke up from a quick nap I took after my alarm went off. It was relieving, but also teasing. In my dream, I was trans (just as in real life) and I came out to my mother. My mother was the only one I told and she started crying and hugged me. My dream flips to another day and I'm sitting on the couch in my grabdparent's house. Somehow, I know I have been on T for a few months (also, I had a boyfriend in my dream; I don't have one in real life and have never seen him before, but he was a trans guy too. He was farther in his transition: he had a beard, deep voice, etc.) My voice would crack here and ther when I talked to my "boyfriend", but it was mostly starting to go deep. This was a dream come true (no pun intended), but it also made me dysphoric that I had to wake up and none of it was true. The idea of coming out seems less scary and more of a good idea. I'm just scared for my grandmother to find out because once she knows something, she has to tell my aunt and it'll eventually get to the whole family. I'm even scared for my stepfather to find out because he is a man and I just hope he doesn't think I'm angry at him or jealous. This dream has made me want to go to therapy even more and get T. It's absolutely unbareable. If things work out, I will order two binders Saturday. There's no way to keep those secret, so I feel very stuck. Any thoughts, comments, or advice?
First off, it's really cool that you had such a descriptive dream! I can definitely understand you're frustration from not having that be a reality. I think you should do what is most comfortable and safe for you. If you don't feel safe doing it, I wouldn't. But if you don't think anything dangerous would result from you coming out, go for it if you want! Just don't feel pressured to do so based off of dreams or other people' experiences, because in the end it's your choice. I'm coming out tomorrow, and I decided because I just get so dysphoric when my family calls me my birth name and the wrong pronouns, and I need it to stop. Also, considering I'm still young, it will give me the chance to come out to my school pretty soon, and it'll become normal in high school and such. Best of luck with whatever you decide! Sorry I couldn't be more helpful
I wish you luck on coming out! I think that's absolutely wonderful that you're comfortable doing that. I feel certain that my mother would have the same reaction as in my dream, but there's always the fear of uncertainty for me. I know things would probably be easier if I came out, but I just get so scared that everything will change for the worst and every time I walk in the room they'll just see "trans" me.
Thank you so much! Take my advice with a grain of salt, because everyone is different, but I have a similar fear as you do. I don't want them to see me with goggles over their eyes and only see me for being trans and different from my siblings, etc. But at the same time, the part of me that they 'know' is a lie, and I need to get it out there to them of who I actually am. I am really nervous, and scared for the outcome, but I know that it has to happen one day, and the younger I am, the better. I will hopefully have more opportunities and be able to transition later in my teens if I give my parents time to adjust to the idea of me being trans, and telling them from a young age. It's really just weighing out the pros and cons for the situation you're in right now. For example, I have soccer season coming up in an all girl's team which I've been on since kindergarten, but I know I will be dysphoric and miserable. If I combine that with school stresses and family situations, I decided I really needed to come out for my own sanity! Again, this is your life, and you should do whatever makes you happy and confident. Whether it's tomorrow, next month, next year, or a decade from now, it's never too late or too early to choose a time that you feel most comfortable with! I wish you the best of luck, and stay strong! :') Even if there is a chance that they aren't there for you, there will always be people to help you and encourage you. Have a great day!
