Hey there,i am in really bad depression and insomnia with maybe 8 years and need help!!I don't know nobody in my town who can help me.I only want my family to support me because i'm all alone hiding what i am feeling on the inside. My mother always judged me how short my hear is,my clotes,my behavior was just like a male and i need to tell her that i'm not just imitating or pretending it's who i am.I want so bad to take T,to buy myself binders,and change my name,but i'm on my own with this.I have no friends to turn to. Can you help me with advice how to come out so she could understand how i am seriosly tired , depressed, and just bleeding for my parents help? B.t.w. i am just graduating high school but so tired,don't know even if i could graduate. Sorry for my bad english
Hi. I've a friend who is also depressed, and I was suicidal myself for a time, though long ago. I also have dysphoria (though only social; it sounds like you have body dysphoria, too), I know where you're coming from. Is your mother the person you feel you'd most want to trust with your secret? I can really understand your feelings in that case. By all accounts, when I was really depressed and suicidal I wanted to talk to her and her only. However, I realized that I did not fully trust her with my secret, so I kept it to myself for a while (though not nearly as long as you. *hugs*) I never had the courage to calmly state my secret to her, although I in the end did have the courage to just spit it out and then lie down and cry and hide my face from her while she tried to talk to me. I won't lie, it was a terrifying experience. Although, I think I'd exploded if I hadn't told anyone. Firstly I want to congratulate you, though You've taken the first step, you've opened up here on EC (*hug*) The next step, then, is up to you, but talking to people you trust irl , I would recommend. And btw, there might be a councilor at your school you could talk to anonymously (as in, they aren't allowed to tell your parents if you don't allow them). I don't know about those rules in the States, though. If you really can't face talking to your mom, dad or whoever face-to-face, you could write them an e-mail. And no, there's nothing cowardly about that. Courage is the resistance to fear, not the abscence of it. If you're able to resist your fear enough to write them an e-mail or letter or whatever, you've done a really brave thing. Also, about school, try to stay calm. A cool head is worth as much as any revision in an exam situation. Hope that helps! Do ask more questions if you have any! Take care <3
Thank you so much for the advice! Yeah I need to tell her that because as my parent ,she has to know why I want the change I mostly need her to allow it. In case she's the only one who with this judgment (clotes,hair,behavior)stops me and it terrifies me to tell her.I am afraid ,but I really need the change I can't live no more seen as a girl . Can you help me how to write the letter so she could really understand it's a serious to me .Most of the nights I sit and cry and getting even more locked in myself, I asked my doctor for antidepressants ,but that won't solve my struggles . I go to psicholog but still not helping me enough .
