These thoughts have never left my head so this is a bit weird. I'm not sure what I am. I'm a guy. I've always liked girly stuff since I was little but as I've gotten older it just becomes more so. I have long hair, which I've recently discovered is probably my girly side showing through. I love to brush my hair, style it both down and up. I've experimented with some eye liners/shadows, lipsticks, mascara, etc. and found some looks that I honestly think I look good with. I wear a hair band around my wrist because it's an obvious but subtle sign of femininity. I used to only like boys as thinking they were cute sometimes and wanted to kiss them. I did in middle school a few times but that plays off really easily. I always still liked girls more. I had a lot of girlfriends. I wanted to try dating a boy but it wasn't anything I was serious about. Now that I'm older I feel like I'm just more attracted to guys even though I still find some women attractive. I just can't take women seriously in that fashion anymore. They're fun but I feel like if I want something serious, I'd have to be with a man now. I still enjoy being a guy that does guyish things but most of the time I want to throw on some nice eyeliner or paint my nails and take my guy out with me. I'd also like to have a girl friend to just be a girl with. I'm afraid of what people will say and I don't know who to be. My best friend is the only one who knows anything and as far as he knows, I'm only bisexual.
You might have a look here for a few thoughts that might help you: Am I Transgender or Transsexual - Teens Wonder Am I Transgender or Transsexual http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/150966-androgyne-identity.html#14 Bottom line is : are you happy with a male body ? It seems to be the case. This all is a spectrum. You could take your time and see where you feel comfortable concerning gender expression. You could look for other people, maybe join a gsa, or have a look at a lgbt center, with courses and activities. hugs
You sound like a bi-ish, mostly gay, cis guy who doesn't conform to stereotypes. Gender identity is not the same as gender presentation, and so far all you've said is that you like to present yourself in a feminine way. That's awesome and you should totally rock that, and if you have any questions on how to present yourself comfortably, we can totally help out. Regarding your sexuality, you might be described best as homoromantic bisexual (since you say you're attracted to women but only want a serious relationship with a guy), but if you don't want a complicated label, you could simplify by just saying you're gay or bi, depending on which feels more right to you.
