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Voice

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by confuzzled82, Apr 24, 2015.

  1. confuzzled82

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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm pre-everything, and wondering if anyone else is having this issue. It's really been bothering me lately. When I answer the phone at work, at first people say something like "Good morning, ma'am" or occasionally, sir, and that doesn't bother me regardless which they use. But, especially recently, I've been having people backtrack a few moments later, and refuse to move on until I tell them if I'm male or female. This has really been bothering me because I can't honestly answer them because I'm not out to my coworkers, and I'm not ready to come out to them. Any suggestions on this? In some ways, it's really triggering my dysphoria...
     
  2. KayJay

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    Don't answer by replying with male or female. Reply saying the former or the latter. That way no one will really know if you are talking about gender and you can answer the persons question.

    Hopefully that helps. I'm not sure what you could do otherwise.

    If there are coworkers involved in the call my advice doesn't really help. I'll try to think on a new solution if that is the case!
     
    #2 KayJay, Apr 24, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2015
  3. confuzzled82

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    Well, there is still the complication that half of these people will then be coming in to the office for something or another. I'm wearing a polo shirt and cargo pants right now.... (I'm on my lunch hour at the moment)
     
  4. KayJay

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    Oh jeez I didn't realize they'd come in to see you. I wish I could think of a solution, it's definitely not easy :frowning2:

    I'm kind of stumped, short of coming out. I bet that isn't an option on the table for all sorts of reasons though.

    (*hug*) I'm going to keep thinking though, I'm not the smartest but two minds on the problem is certainly better than one!

    Sort of a crazy solution I just thought of right after I posted. If you've a name picked out that is more gender neutral but still more feminine, perhaps that will help people viewing you as female without as much manual suggestions you give to people. Just introducing yourself as say Alex instead of something masculine leaning like Thomas, may just make people use proper pronouns without encouragement from you.

    There's lots of problems with that. Especially if the name you like is more female leaning, plus you'd have to actually change your name which is complicated and will make people raise eyebrows probably. I guess after typing it all out it doesn't seem like a practical solution.

    I'll keep thinking though!
     
    #4 KayJay, Apr 24, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2015
  5. jay777

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    Welll what about saying you don't mind...
    or it does not matter...
    or that you have a really female voice...
    and maybe that they are not the only one..
    and ask how you can help them...
    a laugh and a bit of humour might go a long way...

    this way you could try to improve your looks and voice and see how it goes...

    (just watch how people react so that there is no neg reaction)
     
    #5 jay777, Apr 24, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2015
  6. confuzzled82

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    Well, actually, I was kinda thinking of keeping my already neutral name... Chris. Though, maybe feminizing it slightly, I'm thinking maybe Chrissy...