I'm about to go home for the summer, and I'll be there quite a bit longer if I don't get accepted to grad school. I know I'm not ready to tell them I'm questioning my gender. At the same time I'm thinking about trying to push boundaries. I need to go clothes shopping soon, and I may shift to a more androgynous style. It would be a middle ground between what I want and what they want. On the one hand, I'd be happier with my appearance. I'd have to keep it subtle, but it would be a step in the right direction. Also, whenever I do come out, I won't be dropping quite as big a bombshell on them. Although they frown upon androgyny, the best case scenario is they think I'm just having a rebellious phase. I'm hoping the reaction wouldn't be much worse than the drama over my long hair. On the other hand, it could go very badly. They already think I'm gay, and this wouldn't help matters. If they suspect I'm questioning my gender, they could try to probe for answers. It would be a lot of stress, and I'm not sure how I could handle it. Any advice?
If they are giving you grief about your sexuality, you could just tell them that you have a girlfriend at your college. How you dress is none of their business at this stage in your life, so just tell them that. You don't have to tell them anything that you don't want to.