About a year ago I cut of my hair boy style and started dressing like a guy. I felt incredibly comfortable like if it was what I was missing for the longest. But then my family and friends would make me feel bad about the way I was dressing I tried not to care for the longest till I finally gave in and I now let my hair grow out and dress as a girl. And I feel fine since people don't bother me anymore. What or how do I figure out who or what I am :/
It felt like you were coming home, didn't it? It is a feeling that you can try to describe over and over again, but it will seem mere words would never do it justice. The whole world spins around and around at a speed that sometimes makes it hard for you to grasp on to anything, but in that one moment everything made sense. At least this is how I remember when I allowed myself to dress as a guy for the first time since I was a child. I didn't want to take the clothes on, but the day ended and the next I was back in my regular clothes. The world seemed duller, but no more than it had before that moment. I know clothes are a form of gender expression but I believe what I felt was something more than that. And, like you, I went back to wearing girl clothes because I feared what others would say. So my advice..screw what others say and go find out who you are. It takes time, patience, and honesty with one self. Explore and experiment, and keep an open mind. The way I see it, if something as simple as pulling on a pair of men's shorts can make your world feel like it was been righted then that is something you should keep on doing, and expand outwards from there. The wonderful thing is that if you have questions, fears, and or doubts you are free to talk about it here with those who have been through it or are still going through it. You're not alone.
