So yesterday I went shopping for clothes for the first time to get a start on my wardrobe. I got a couple pairs of jeans and a few tops to try on. The jeans weren't so bad, I actually bought a pair I liked. But when I tried the tops on, I just... felt so horrible. I kept looking at and scrutinizing my reflection, my shoulders and chest were too wide, and it just looked... blugh. I kept thinking, "I look like the stereotype," or something like that... Before, I thought I actually had a slightly "feminine" build, but... that just ruined my self image even more than it was. For the rest of the day, I felt so horrible and even now I just feel out of it. Did anyone else feel like this when they first started, and/or are in the same place I am?
I think most of us have. When I first tried on some boys' pants, my hips were too wide, and butt/thighs were too large. All of these combined made the pants morph to match my body and I looked like a girl wearing boys' pants. It really made me upset, but I found that wearing T-shirts that fell over my bottom at least half-way tended to hide it enough.
At the risk of sounding like a stereotypical gay guy "OMG, girl I so feel ya!" Though it rather reminds of the time I was 14. I worked up the courage to ask my mom to buy me a shirt from the boy's section and she did. In my head I thought I was going to look badass..but...well the mirror is the devil in disguise. In my head I was rather flat chested, but in the mirror I had watermelons and they just didn't make the shirt look right. It was a crushing experience, and this was years before I even questioned if I was trans. After that I stuck to girl's clothes. I have a pair of shorts, that is it. My hips are to wide, but I still love how they look. Its like "hello, I'm home." sorry I ramble
Yeah, I think the main problem was that my chest/shoulders were too wide in comparison to my hips. I'm going to start the hormones in a few days, so hopefully in a little more than a few months I'll be ready to go again. And also no boobs. ._. Thanks for the reply. Honestly I'm starting to feel better now. Even though alot more sh** happened last night than my dysphoria, but whatever.
I do know how that feels. The other way, but still. "I'll never look like a boy." "No one will ever really think you're anything but a girl." I have a large chest on a small frame, and it does not help. Sometimes you can find something that makes you feel more feminine or masculine in my case. You just have to find the right things, which can honestly take a while. And, in general, when your question is "has anyone else felt like this?" Just know that the answer is almost always yes.
Yeah, I think that alot too (the opposite). Although there were times I was mistaken for a girl, so I just thought it could work... then the employee watching over the dressing rooms says "he" and I'm like :dry:
That pic, I just spit my milk out xD Yeah, I currently think I look very boyish, but I know that compared to men my age I look like a 14 year old boy or a young woman, neither of which I want to be. I hope hormones goes well for you. Excited for you ^__^
Yes, I've felt this and you know what I eventually realized? It's more posture than body frame. Next time try adopting a more feminine posture when looking at the mirror. Back straight, stomach in, chest out, shoulders back and twist your arms ever so slightly so that your elbows are closer to your body. It still won't look perfect, but it looks infinitely better.
Yeah, I tried that, still didn't work too well. But meh. I think I'm over it. Maybe going to try less "femenine" stuff next time. Just like normal tees or something.
It really depends on the model also, the big problem is that female clothes are just not made for the male bode and vice versa... Just experiment a bit and try different things. I'm experimenting myself too, found out that some girly shirts actually make me more masculine instead of feminine...
Update: I wore my jeans that I got for my birthday yesterday and today, and they just feel so comfortable. ^-^ What's odd, though, is that for some reason I feel alot more confident in trying on more clothes than I did before. ._.
