So... Something I am unsure about right now. Sometimes I get aroused at the thought of being a girl. Or perhaps at the thought of wearing women's clothes. I also know that arousal can sometimes occur as a side effect of heightened excitement and nervousness, and right now exploring my gender and wearing women's clothes is leading to both excitement and nervousness. So...I guess I am wondering does that mean it might just be a fetish of some sort (I will openly admit that I have a thing for boots)? Are these feelings necessarily indicative at all about my gender and just something that happens? The other day I had the most strong feeling that I was a girl for a few minutes. Since then I have had doubts. It didn't seem possible that I'd had such a feeling. That's where I am right now. THanks for your thoughts.
We all have a fair few healthy fetisches Me, for example, I love crossdressing <3 Not all kinds of crossdressing, but certain kinds. Nothing wrong with that, it just sends an extra tingle down my spine, it's completely natural The sama thing with boots or whatever, of course! Aroused at "the thought of being a girl" is also natural... Hmm, maybe I'm overly ambitious here, but I'll try this one in one sweep, my friend. Strictly speaking, it is agreed upon that gender and sexuality are two seperate things, and I agree. However, it is also so that it is more common for trans* people not to be heterosexual, for gay people to defy gender roles, etc. Generally speaking, when you let go enough to identify as LGBT+ in any way, you often feel that maybe there's something more you were holding back to, and once you're over that threshold, often have the bravery to explore yourself further. It was like that for me, I identified officially as straight and cis, but then I said, hmm, nope, ain't working anymore, came out as trans* and subsequently came out as pan. So, it might be that since you have come out as trans* (I don't know if you like that label, let me know if you don't!), you have accepted this crossdressing fetisch as well, and also this 'gender-free fetisch'. HUgz (*hug*)
Sometimes when i wear womens cloths i get aroused a bit but that is more because i feel more feminine then and i like that then it is because of the clothes itself. I guess it's only a fetish when you wear it to get aroused. But when you wear it just because it makes you feel better its merely a side affect i think. In the beginning when i started to cross dress i got way more aroused about it then i do now. Like you said the excitement of exploring yourself and the nervousness about it can be of a big influence too (i know it excites me big time). The doubts about your gender is something that comes with the exploring thing i guess, i have it too a lot of times. I have not much experience as i'm exploring myself too at the moment but this is just my 2 cents.
I am somewhere on the trans* spectrum, sure. I don't mind that So I can still feel excited and have an arousal response about the clothing at the same time as feeling like a girl? ---------- Post added 27th Apr 2015 at 06:44 PM ---------- Thanks Penta. It's good to hear someone else going through this <3
I can relate to this quite a lot. Honestly speaking, I used to get very aroused the first couple times I've thought about being a woman and crossdressing before. I got worried about it and feared that this whole thing was more fetish than my own identity. However, now that I present more often and have accepted my own identity more, it doesn't happen nearly as much. It's made tucking a lot easier, that's for sure. lol Looking back on the whole thing, I saw it more as a part of me and how my female self isn't separate from own usual sexual interests. I see it as me expressing my true self. Hell, I'd love it if I could get intimate while presenting or even wear lingerie if I actually looked good in it. That's a bit of a rocky road at the moment, though... I'm not sure if the same will apply to you, everyone's different and all, but keep in mind that just because you're doing a certain thing and experiencing certain things doesn't mean you're fated to fall into a certain category, title, or label. We all have different experiences and processes for figuring out who we are and where our interests truly lie in. Whatever it is, don't feel ashamed about it. ^___^*
I second the tucking problems.. it's quite painfully to get a hard-on while tucked.. Glad that that gets less in the future...
I know it's ok if it is just a fetish. I guess I'd find that harder to come to terms with though. ---------- Post added 27th Apr 2015 at 08:29 PM ---------- I need to tell people. Something. I can't hide this.
Well the crossdressing part is hard to hide indeed :lol: The fact that you get aroused sometimes is no problem though.. But hey you told us here so that's a start, but i know it's much better to tell someone in person..
I don't want to be just a crossdresser. If I want to express myself then other people need to be aware of this. Not just people online and a few of my most trusted friends. ---------- Post added 28th Apr 2015 at 12:14 AM ---------- I also worry that my genderfluid identity might be something I have constructed to hide away from the things that bother me in my everyday life.
Genderfluidity is a feeling, a feeling which you have expressed repeatedly. Feelings are not constructs of the mind as much as they are irrational musings of the heart. DOn't worry too much, just do what feels right in your life (*hug*)
You just need to follow your hart instead of you mind Try to express how you feel inside, wear the stuff you want regardless of it's male/female. Just be you
