1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Dysphoria sucks

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by antibinary, May 2, 2015.

  1. antibinary

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2014
    Messages:
    778
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    Ok, this is more of a mini rant than anything else but I thought it could go here. So I pulled a muscle, and went to the toilet to figure out what was wrong. I raised my jumper... and ****. I had forgot that I had boobs. Thank goodness I'd had the sense to pretend that I was going to the loo so no-one saw my complete, it feels like such an over-reaction.
    It was extra unexpected because I'd never really experienced dysphoria before.
     
  2. Matto_Corvo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2015
    Messages:
    2,270
    Likes Received:
    51
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I feel ya

    Sometimes I go to try on clothes and forget I have boobs, which is crazy since they are huge.
     
  3. antibinary

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2014
    Messages:
    778
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    I'm sitting here with a milder version now, and I'm like urghh, there's no way of turning it off without doing something that I'm not ready for (coming out.)
     
  4. Matto_Corvo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2015
    Messages:
    2,270
    Likes Received:
    51
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Yeah I had that yesterday with my hips when I went to take a shower.

    It goes away for a while once I put on my go clothes. Its weird, I haven't had much dysphoria since high school and now that i've come to terms with being trans it starts coming back. Just mildly but still. And every time in get it I feel like I am over reaction.
     
  5. Invidia

    Invidia Guest

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2015
    Messages:
    2,802
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Far above the clouds, gazing deep below the Earth
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    DMAB. I mostly have social dysphoria when mislabelled etc., but I can also have it when, for example, I don't shave in 2 days or so (which basically never happens, but..) or when (TMI warning) I masturbate with my finger and my stupid testicles are there messing with me. Also when I think of what I could look like if I could transition a bit (not all the way)... That's kind of annoying... MOstly have social though...
    Hope you get better. Hugs (*hug*)
     
  6. Im Hazel

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2015
    Messages:
    528
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Rural England
    I hate body dysphoria. When I wake up in the morning, and think "I feel great!" Then I realize that I don't have breasts, that I have a penis and I am (for now) physically a man. And that feels rubbish.
     
  7. Matto_Corvo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2015
    Messages:
    2,270
    Likes Received:
    51
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm sorry ya'll have to go through that :frowning2:

    I've kind of become numb towards my body
     
  8. penta

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2015
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Netherlands
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Totally know how you feel...
    It happens to me a lot these days, even when going to the toilet..it just sucks..
    I have these correcting panties now and when dressed it looks a lot better without the bulge in my pants, but when i go to the toilet it's a hassle to get it out and put it back so it won't hurt.. just wish i could snap it off...especially the testicles
     
  9. Im Hazel

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2015
    Messages:
    528
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Rural England
    Yeah. I just keep thinking that I'm growing a "coupon", which I can exchange for correct genetalia at a later date. If I cut my penis off, I know that I will never be able to have a vagina, so I don't even think like that now. That helps me to cope with all that.
     
  10. crystalgem

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2015
    Messages:
    154
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    US
    Out Status:
    A few people
    yeah it sucks. for me it's my hair and clothes. I'm partially agender and I want short hair like Tegan and Sara, and less girly clothes buut of course I don't have enough money to get my stupid afro hair done or by a whole wardrobe of clothes that i actually feel comfortable in
     
  11. Matto_Corvo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2015
    Messages:
    2,270
    Likes Received:
    51
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I understand the clothes bit. My favorite wardrobe boils down to a single pair of shorts. What money I do have will be spent on a binder, the rest for more clothes after that.

    Does anyone have days where they think about how parts of their family doesn't know, and you can hear them talking about your new fashion in a negative light. And you suddenly feel so stressed because you don't want to change this new found you for them, but at the same time you want your family to accept you. And you just want to tell them but can't.
    I have no idea if this is considered dysphoria or not.
     
  12. Daydreamer1

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2011
    Messages:
    5,680
    Likes Received:
    21
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Dysphoria blows. Usually it's social (misgendering included, especially at doctor appointments), but now it's becoming physical again--coping with how absolutely friggin' slow changes are for me and how empty it's making me feel.
     
  13. Acm

    Acm Guest

    Sometimes when I'll bump into something weird or catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror, and it always take me by surprise, I'll forget that I don't have the right body parts and then I get super depressed and dysphoric.

    @CadutiMorte I don't think that's really dysphoria, just trans-related depression. I get that way too though, it sucks.
     
  14. Ninnie

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2015
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    CA, USA
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I don't have that feeling [I'm sorry you do hon!] because I've always dressed pretty casual, jeans/shorts and a tee-shirt. My mother hates that I'm not a girly-girl and sometimes I just want to shake her and yell, "I'm not your doll woman!" Sadly I can't because she doesn't know I'm Gender-fluid.

    Wait I lied... I do feel that way sometimes. Mostly when my mom will nit pick that I'm not wearing something she deems appropriate for the outside world. The woman holds a grudge like you can't believe so I can't even tell her that it makes me feel bad when she puts in her two cents. Oh well I'll explain the situation to her eventually, for now it's just taking things one day at a time. [I feel like I was ranting, sorry -oops-]
     
  15. Hatsune Miku

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2014
    Messages:
    260
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Narnia
    tfw forced to get a ridiculously short haircut
     
  16. antibinary

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2014
    Messages:
    778
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    And my mum won't let me get "boy's" trousers. Four years...
     
  17. Invidia

    Invidia Guest

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2015
    Messages:
    2,802
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Far above the clouds, gazing deep below the Earth
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    But does she know you're pan? Your out status does say 'everyone' on your being pan... If she's okay with that, why wouldn't she be okay with you being trans*? Is she okay with gays, bis, pans, etc., but a transphobe? Well, I guess it happens...
    How old are you? You seem to be younger than 18 at least, since your mom decides over you. Would you be in a position to 'talk back', to tell her no, this is what I want, maybe someone could support you, another family member or some other adult?
    Hugs, take care (*hug*)
     
  18. penta

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2015
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Netherlands
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    @CaduriMorte, i don't think it's really dysphoria but i so know what you mean..
    I have this feeling a lot, especially because i changed my appearence a lot..
    It just s*cks... i guess it's unsecurity about ourselfs what triggers it
     
  19. antibinary

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2014
    Messages:
    778
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    It's to do with the fact that apparently boys trousers won't fit my shape. She lets me get boys t-shirts and jumpers.
     
  20. Matto_Corvo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2015
    Messages:
    2,270
    Likes Received:
    51
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Tight boy pants might not but loosed fitting ones will. My shorts work wonders. But then I've been told by my mom that for a afab I have no ass and my pants actually make it look like I have one.

    You'd have to try pants on and see how they look on you. There are amabs that have slightly female shapes, so I can't see you being to out of place