Sometimes I feel like I 'ought' to be more 'manly'.

Since when is not being manly equivalent to being weak?? Rhetorical question of course the answer is never. You are under no obligation to being more manly. Be yourself and dont let society force you to behave a certain way because "its how men behave". You be you hun! (*hug*)

 

Just be yourself. Go with how you feel (within moral ethical reason of course and that's where you'll be happiest

 

You shouldnt have to be someone youre not, people should acceot you for who you are and if they dont then theyre not worth your time... And for the record, not all guys go fir "manly men", I actually find wimpier guys cute and there are many girls who feel the same way, everyone has their type... its the same for guys too... Youre not alone anyway, Im pretty gender neutral most of the time and theres always this pressyre to be someine im not, but you jusy need to realise that youll be happiest if you can be true to yourself and shouldnt change ti please others...(*hug*)

 

Nope, nope, nope. This is totally not true. Although I can relate to the feeling.

In my case, it was a bit like a conscience gone out of control. Instead of grounding me a bit so that irrational thoughts couldn't control me, it policed my own behavior. "Men aren't supposed to want this" is probably the one bit of internal dialogue that I can remember the most clearly at this point. I'm feeling better now that I can recognize that voice a bit better, and have started to shut it up. Is it still there? Yeah. Am I starting to open up to things I rejected out of hand? Definitely.

However this manifests, it is totally worth facing it and overcoming it. Accepting yourself for you is a good thing, no matter what it may mean. There is nothing that you should do when it comes to being more masculine or feminine. There should only be what you want to do.

I can also relate to this. I'm currently in a long-term relationship, and as I get a better grasp on what works for me, it actually hasn't helped on this front. There are other factors involved, but this has certainly been a part of it as well. But it isn't insurmountable. In my case, it is trying to get back to where we were, when my partner would take the initiative quite often, which turns out was a lot more important in setting the mood than I gave it credit for when I was younger.

This is true, although I'm not sure "wimpier" is a good word to be using here. It may not be correct, and it doesn't really have any good connotations.

 

This is true, although I'm not sure "wimpier" is a good word to be using here. It may not be correct, and it doesn't really have any good connotations.[/QUOTE]

Sorry lol, its really late over here and I was trying to put it ibto simple terms... I wasnt implying that he was wimpy, I was saying thats my type and using it as an example that there are people for either extreme so there must be people in the middle of the spectrum... probably shouldve explained better.. XD

 

It might be harder to find but there are people of both sexes who like femmey guys. It's especially common with bi women. Two of my close friends are bi and are turned on by crossdressing and hairless bodies lol

 

Yeah, I get what you are trying to say, but there are two things I can think of which is why the word comes across as wrong to me:

1) They may not actually be wimpy, but rather passive or submissive. And they may only be submissive in certain situations, like in the bedroom. I say this because I tend to do just that. When dealing with folks normally, I'm fairly assertive, but not so in other settings.
2) Wimpy carries negative connotations which just doesn't feel right at all. It implies weakness, and is not a positive trait. I would much prefer femme, myself.

 

Ok, I was just trying to put it simply and I couldnt think of any other way to put it (I was in a bit of a state tbh, ny gender has just come in to question so I was stressed and it wa rlly late..) Sorry for any offence caused, Ill be more careful about my terminology next time..

 

I understand you completely Damien. I was going through a similar cast of doubt. I still kind of am. I remember it was so bad I was thinking I may as well get a sex change because I didn't see being a feminine guy as a positive thing in the gay world but after talking to some people here, I realize it'd be a big mistake.

I wish I could say things get better but I honestly can't I've never been in a relationship with a guy ever and I'm still pretty invisible to other gay guys whom I'm attracted too. BUT, you have a bonus on your side. If you're bi, I'm sure you can find a girl who will love your natural feminine side. From what I've observed, a lot of girls tend to like feminine bi guys. So you have that on your side at least.

Just don't sweat it. Just continue being yourself. That's what I'm going to do and hopefully, things will work out in due time. Good luck!