All my life ive been brought up to be a "man" but... Latly idk like some days ill want so badly to look like a girl and i dunno why. Like i got in trouble today because this girl thought i was staring and her breast but what scared the shit out of me is that i wasnt i was looking at her dress and wondering what i would look like in it. I know that this is so wrong and i shouldnt feel this way but i just dont u derstand. Help?
What you're feeling isn't wrong, or what you shouldn't feel. Although if you've been brought up with expectations to "be a man", that's probably why you feel this way. There's nothing wrong with wanting to wear a dress though or imagining what it would look like on you. I'm not sure what advice I could give, only that you should just wear what you feel comfortable wearing or do what you feel comfortable doing in environments where you feel happy/safe enough to do so, and try to forget about the expectations on you because you were born as a 'male'. I know a guy who wears dresses, even out in public and he's still comfortable being a guy There's nothing wrong with a guy wanting to be more 'girly' or feminine. But it could also be something else as well with what you said about wanting to look so badly sometimes like a girl. You'll probably only figure it out if you acknowledge and accept how you feel about these things. It isn't wrong or something that you shouldn't feel though. Everyone's different, and you don't have to conform to what other people expect you to conform to I'm pretty much the opposite, a girl who hates dresses and loves guys clothes but I'm comfortable being female. Just give it time and talk to people you trust if you need to.
It's definitely not wrong to feel the way you're feeling. Society tells you you can't wear dresses because you're a guy, but that's absurd. Dresses are great, and anyone should be able to wear them, regardless of gender. Obviously, that's not how it works right now, but it should be. You don't have to feel guilty for feeling this way, even if others think you should. If there are any opportunities for you to try seeing how you look in dresses in private, you might enjoy seeing how that feels.
And not knowing is half the battle. Okay. That was a bad joke. But it is kinda true. If you accept that you don't know, you can then learn. But it doesn't have to be at a rapid pace. Take a bit of time, relax, let things sink in a bit. Then work on the next step. Maybe ask yourself what reasons you have for not wearing a dress?
disclaimer Spoiler Before I post I want to write a bit of a disclaimer. I speak as if what you are about to read is all fact because to me it is. these are things I have concluded based on my own personal observations of people through life and seeing as I haven't gotten to know every person in the world I cant say this is all true for everyone, just generalizations about the people I have met. Even so, I would like to think that I'm helping, even just a little. Philosophy to explain advice (I recomend reading but you dont have to, it's kind of deep) People have a very interesting relationship with the unknown. It is the cause of so much of what humans fear. However, it is also the driving force behind our unquenchable pursuit of knowledge, for if we can know something then it is no longer unknown and so we have no need to fear it. But then what if we find something we cant understand, or at least not at the moment, such as your concerns with gender. There are two things that I see people do at this point. It either takes control of them and causes depression or irrationality, or they push it away and pretend they don't know that they don't know whatever it is that causes the fear, a safety mechanism. I have found a third option that I use myself, especially concerning internal issues such as finding out who I am, in more ways than just gender. I accept the unknown. I allow it to co-exist. I don't give in to the survival instinct telling me to bury the unknown and turn a blind eye to it. When i allow to exist within myself and observe it as I go through life, I find that it begins to become clear. It takes time, and lots of it, but eventually it reveals its true nature. Heck, it took me four years of small signs before I even considered the possibility that there might be something odd about how I felt about gender. So, that was a bit deep but if you understood it then well done and I hope it helps. The real advice now. First off, the goal of trans* people is (or from what ive seen it is) to remove the boxes and let people be themselves. I implore you to try your best to allow those feelings of perhaps not being quite as you thought you were just remain where they are for a while. Don't push them away but also don't let them consume you. Also, i want to say, it is okay to be confused, in fact if you weren't i would be worried. Lastly, I want to say that im pretty sure almost everyone wonders "what if I was a different gender?" it doesn't mean you are going to go all the way and transition but it also doesn't mean you aren't. give yourself time to figure it out and be aware of your feelings, constently look into yourself and assess what you find without trying to change it. I know that was a lot but I hope I helped at least a little and if you ever want to ask anything in private shoot me a pm .
