I told two of my friends recently that I was transgender. Of course they both said I was to feminine to be trans, but they would accept me no matter what. Then came the first one going "Well, you have celiac disease. Maybe that is causing you to think you are trans." I'm trying to figure out the logic behind that assumption. How in the hell does an autoimmune disease make a person trans? Strangely enough it was when my symptoms for the disease started appearing that my dysphoria went away, and once I was diagnosed and on my gluten free diet and vitamins had time to take effect.... Only then did I start to question my gender again for the first time in years (even if the dysphoria is pretty much gone). The second friend I have only known a few months but I think he is a pretty cool guy. I was nervous to tell him but his first words made me feel better. "I have no idea why you thought that would make me not like you." Then he offered to give me his take on transgender, and being open-minded and liking to hear others people's point of view I agreed. He stated that he was a hippie and saw the beauty in everything and more so when it stays in its natural form. He equated transgenderism to eating disorders and said that by giving in to it I was only worsening the problem. He said I needed to accept the flawed parts of my body for the beautiful things they are, instead of trying to turn myself into something I never was. I wanted to argue with him, to tell him that I had accepted my flawed parts, I believe that is why my dysphoria is so mild. As well I keep telling myself that one day I won't have to have boobs. I wanted to tell him how, before I started questioning I might of been able to lead a somewhat happy life as a woman. It was all I had ever been raised to know after. But it would of been someone else's idea of a woman. I would of acted according to whims of the people around me and never act the way I truly wanted to. I would always look in the mirror and saw someone who was me, but not at the same time. Since I started questioning, since I came to terms with being trans, I can't stop looking in the mirror. With my hair cut short and my boy clothes on I look like me, a teenage boy me, but me. Despite me boobs and my round hips and fat I need to work off, I LOVE how I appear. Do you know how long it has been since I've felt this good? I can't imagine or think of myself as a woman anymore. I call myself a boy because I can't imagine myself as a full blown man just yet, either. I'm afraid to move forward, because I'm afraid change will make me hate myself again. Plus I don't know how HRT works with celiac disease. I wanted to tell them both these things, but instead I let the topic drops. How do I explain something that not even I fully understand? On an unrelated side note, I remember someone posted a thread with a picture asking if the person in the photo was male or female. Some one made the observation the people tended to see the gender they identified with Some part of me went "hmmm.." Because I remember my teenage years where all I could see were my boyish features and hates them. I've always wondered why I hated the features I now love, as well I wondered why I noticed them at all when no one else did. Was it because eve then I thought myself more male than female, just to far in denial? I remember thinking, back then, that if I was going to be born with these things then why couldn't unjust of been born male? I always figures I would of made a better male than female. I honestly couldn't think of anything I liked about being female and I still can't. I'll stop ranting now.
For what it's worth, there's at least a considerable counter-argument to be made against someone who sees "the beauty of everything in its natural form," which is, there's nothing natural about houses, clothing, cars, or shitting indoors.
As a hippie he would most likely totally agree with you. I'm pretty much a hippie, at least that's what I get called all the time, and I take it as a compliment. Personally I think I spend way too much time on the computer to be one. The thing that he is not understanding is dysphoria. He can't personally relate to it and thinks dysphoria is a mental issue like eating disorders, and not a physical one. You're not unhappy with your parts, your body is incongruent with what your brain expects, and there's no changing brain structure like that. Self-identified hippies, in my experience tend to sometimes be transphobic because they are against most modern medicine, but it's usually because they are ignorant and not because they are hateful. If you can get them to understand that it's a need, not a want, they will often change their minds. Mind you this is just my experience with self-identified hippies. He does sound like he's ignorant but perhaps open to new information, so you could ask if he's willing to listen. Explain how it's not a mental issue, and how it's hurtful when people think that's what it is. Let him know people have tried to teach body acceptance to trans individuals with no success, and the effects hormones have on the mind of trans individuals. Perhaps link him to something like this to show that it's about more than just the body too. About your unrelated note: Have you thought about the possibility that you hated your male looking features because you thought they were what made you feel more masculine inside? I don't know, just something that popped into my mind when I read your post.
Yeah, back then I had no idea that gender and biological sex were two separate things. So it is possible I thought. Was told that I needed to act and dress more girly my whole life, so probably lumped the two together.
