How do I get her to stop saying these things?!

I kind of already stated some of this in another post, but I'll go into more detail in this one.

My grandmother is expecting me to join the workforce and go to college very soon. During this time, I've been making more of an effort to be androgynous, I've talking about my willingness to get a coin purse, etc. It's like she's been going overboard in her beliefs that there's "hope" for me yet, in that she can bend me into be a straight and feminine beauty.

Ugh!

For Mother's Day, I went over her house to watch a film. A few seconds into the film, and she starts bringing up me getting a boyfriend, and how it would be nice if I could, basically, share my love of anime with him. (I honestly never put much thought into that prior.) How I would have to bring him into my room and that I would, of course, need a bed (my god, I didn't realise she was that desperate!) :eek:

I gave an argument against her suggestion, and after suggesting another part of my house, she brings up me bringing this guy over to her house - something that I would never do in a billion years.

Besides this pressure to date, she keeps bringing up how I'm a pretty woman, and that I need to use it to my advantage (I think that's a terrible thing to do), when I look cute/pretty, and how I need to do certain things to make myself more "presentable" in other words, prettier and feminine.

When we go out, and she sees me interacting with guys, I feel like she's subliminally trying to make me go out with them. This pressure is constantly present.

I'm getting annoyed. This type of crap, usually doesn't annoy me. My mother is with me in this, and says that I should tell her to stop, but I'm scared and very nervous about doing this. I'm trying to deal with it by not dealing with it, and it's just making me behave surly towards her. I don't want to flip out on her one day, because she wouldn't understand. Oh, who am I kidding? She wouldn't understand even if I told her politely.

Do you have any advice? Thanks.

 

I don't think your opinion's rude. I wish it were that simple. She's overbearing and we're at the moment dependant on her for a number of things. I don't like being confrontational towards others, and I can't handle the stress that comes from it very well. She scares my mother too. She can get very "emotional". Regardless of who grows the backbone, she is going to flip out and yell about it to the two of us. We've both asked her to stop doing things a number of times, and she always gets mad, tries to guilt trip us, or put us down in some.

---------- Post added 16th May 2015 at 02:32 AM ----------

I can't handle the stress, so I'll ask my mother if she can do it.

 

---------- Post added 16th May 2015 at 07:56 PM ----------

She ended up having a very unhappy marriage with my grandfather. She's just very old-fashioned, and comes from a very conservative and religious background.