So At this point I'm certain that this is a real thing, that I'm experiencing dysphoria and I want to transition. Granted, I won't be able to as long as I'm stuck with my parents, but I digress. I've come out to a handful of really trustworthy friends. They all support me, but they did raise the question of what pronouns they should use, and for some reason, the idea of people referring to me as she/her makes me nervous? Has anyone else experienced this? Is it just leftover from all the time I've spent "being" male, or is it because I'm not as certain as I think I am?
I think that learning to be comfortable with being addressed as female is a stage in the transition process. In many ways I feel the same way as you, the biggest problem is that as long as we aren't passing as women everytime we are addressed with the right pronoun we are also being outed. If for example I ask my mother to address me as Yael, what happens when we meet up with people who don't know I'm trans.
Makes sense. I am pretty bad about over-analyzing things, and I guess this is one of those times. I haven't even asked anyone I'm out to to switch pronouns anyway, so I'm not really sure why I'm worried about it. However, I've never really thought of it as part of the transition process for me. I've always kind of considered it something of a small transition for those around me. It's an interesting view, but I guess it makes sense. Becoming comfortable with the way others refer to you does seem to be a big part of accepting yourself.
I believe that your fear comes with the territory of coming out. There is fear and the what ifs that sit in the back of the mind. For instance, I understand the parent problems. Parents find it so hard to accept things sometimes that they become blind so then the "what if" factor comes into play. For instance "what if my friend slips in front of them". This a problem for many, but you may tell them you need time to cope and try to figure out what you'd like to go by for now and tell them that it may be subject to change as you become more comfortable as you are coming out. As you come to understanding yourself more, I'm sure you'll find a name that may seem very more you than you feel now and make you feel more open to being called she, but first be sure this is a change you are open to making before making anything definite.
