Do you think it is too cumbersome to ask those who are around me daily to use different pronouns when I am feeling a different gender? I can't help but feel like my preferred pronouns and name are almost invalid because they change often, whereas someone else in the LGBT community might ask me to call them by a different pronoun once and forever more that pronoun. Isn't it confusing, in a workplace or in a day-to-day environment, asking my coworkers or my friends to call me by a different nickname or different pronouns some days? Do you think it causes friction or I will be inconveniencing people too often? At my job, there is usually only 1-2 other people on staff with me a day, so it isn't a very huge deal, but I feel like I always need to maintain "professional" at work, and that feels unprofessional, asking my coworkers to put up with extra work of remembering my pronouns when they can just call me what they do now? And what about customers? Would I correct them if everyone else is using my male pronouns, and they misgender me? :icon_redf Is that also unprofessional?
One of the most important things you can do for yourself in the workplace is make yourself comfortable. That's imperative. So, if you feel worse when you currently identify as a particular gender, but they are misgendering you, you might want to fix it. Especially if it affects your work ethic. Here's a suggestion. Talk to your coworkers about your gender, about how you identify. Get them to understand that it fluctuates. And maybe see if you can go online and get a small pin or something that you can wear, and have one for the pronoun you feel comfortable with that day. I know it might be uncomfortable to wear it on your chest. However, you won't have to update them about your preferred identity, and you'll feel better about being called what you prefer by your coworkers. Not to mention their comfort in knowing what to refer to you as! When it comes to customers, I don't know what your line of work involves. But if the customers come in and out, just wear the pins and on occasion, someone will get it right. And don't bother with correcting them if you don't have to. If they're someone you have to get to know in the long run, I can't say I'm too sure about it. It could be considered unprofessional, but it depends on them. This is a part of your identity, of who you are. And it's important that other people know that. So whether or not to confront your long-term customers (if you have them) I can't really advise you on. Either way, find something that's comfortable for you. If you think your work experience would be better if you corrected people, by all means, do so! It's important that you feel like yourself in your work environment. Anyway, I'm not sure if I helped. But I hope I did. Good luck!
Are your ears pierced? I was thinking that it might work to wear one earring when you're feeling male and two earrings when you're feeling female, if that suits your aesthetic. It's a quiet but noticeable way to advertise your gender that day without having to explicitly declare it.
Are you someone who could be comfortable using neutral pronouns and a neutral nickname instead of switching? I don't know anything about the place you work, but I know that in a lot of places it can be hard enough for people to use one set of correct pronouns for trans people, let alone switch on a regular basis. I don't think it's an unreasonable request for you to make, but I think some people will see it as too much of a hassle. Judge for yourself whether you think the people in your workplace will be willing and then decide whether or not to ask. If they are not cooperative, or if you decide not to ask, consider whether neutral pronouns and a neutral nickname would be comfortable enough for you. I want to be clear that I do not believe your pronouns and names are invalid just because they change. I think it is a perfectly reasonable thing for you to do. I am just being realistic about the fact that it can be difficult sometimes to get people outside of the lgbtq community to see it as being reasonable.
When you mention pin, do you mean like one that says like "BOY" or "GIRL" or "SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN" written on it? Or just like find an accessory that I can wear every day that is noticeable, and designates to my friends and coworkers that that day is a "whatever" day? I would feel much more comfortable with like a secret code pin, than a pin that shouts out my gender for the day LOL. I work at an accessory shop so 95% of our customers are never seen again, but we do have a handful repeat customers that remember us, and many that will come in and thank us for our hard work after giving them a good shopping experience, etc. So for those people that I've met before I don't think I would correct them on my gender, just because it's confusing. We do wear nametags at work, so while there I could maybe just ask my boss if it's alright to write my preferred name of the day on there! Nicknames are allowed, so I don't see how that would be too much of a problem.(!) Thanks for all the awesome suggestions everyone. :3 And yes Sam I Am, my ears are pierced, so that's a good idea to try!!
Well, something like that! When I recommended it, I had just seen these pins on Etsy not long ago, which I thought was a good idea: https://www.etsy.com/listing/219562052/pronoun-bagdes?ref=market However, if you're going more subtle, maybe you can just have color coded pins. You know, something easy to understand. Pink/red for girl. Blue for boy. Purple for in-between. Discreet for you and your coworkers if you don't want to use one that has pronouns on it or your gender
