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What am I? (thinking about FTM)

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Beyourself22, May 20, 2015.

  1. Beyourself22

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Tampa
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Hey guys, so I just really need help about my gender. I ve always hated being a girl, I dont have many girl friends actually just cuz they make me uncomfortable. I really wanted to be a guy ever since I was little, and always had a more masculine way of thinking even my guy friends had said im "more like a guy" and not "like a normal girl." I've know that transgender was a thing but I never really knew what it was until a few days ago when I found Alex Bertie on YouTube, watching him made me feel so much better about myself and thinking about being a FTM. But im also scared to make the change im still in high school and will be started my sophomore year next year. I have no clue what my parents nor my friends would think. I wanna be happy but I cant help but doubt myself and feel bad because maybe im just being "confused" according to certain people.
     
  2. Daydreamer1

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    What are people telling you that's making you have doubts? I know the feeling of having doubt, and it really sucks.

    What I would say is to consider talking to a few close friends you trust the most first. They can be the start of a support network for you to help you build your confidence and make you feel more comfortable with yourself. With your parents, it depends on what kind of vibe you get from them. If they come off as LGBTQ friendly, you might not have a problem talking to them. If they aren't the most accepting, maybe you could talk to a guidance counselor and bring your parents in so you can get your feelings out in a safe environment.

    Another person you could talk to is a gender therapist. They can help you organize your thoughts, work out any self-doubts you might have, and ease your parents into things. They can also provide resources for your parents to read and take care of any concerns they might have. If you don't have insurance, some can work with a sliding scale to make it more affordable; for example, one person I saw only charged me $25 per session. I'm not sure where you are in Tampa, but I'll give you a list of people you can look into. With the guidance counselors, they could probably talk to your teachers about getting a preferred name on the class roster and again, talk to your parents and give them resources to look at.

    Good luck though, and just know we're all here for you if you need advice.

    https://therapists.psychologytoday....ounty=Hillsborough&state=FL&spec=187&lmore=22
     
  3. wanderinggirl

    Full Member

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    One of the most helpful pieces of advice I've seen is to find a group or a setting in which you can present as male safely; find a male name if you want, use male pronouns, and embody maleness (whatever that means to you). See how that feels. If it feels liberating, then you're probably on to something; if it feels totally wrong, then you have an answer; if it feels something in the middle, maybe confusing maybe exciting maybe anxiety-ridden, then keep exploring. There are also other non-binary identities and there are a hundred thousand ways to be a guy or a girl, so there's a lot of space to play even within one gender category.

    Pushing all thoughts of friends and family out of your head, start with the little things. You don't have to transition right now, so save the scary decisions until you're ready to make them. Start with yourself; who are you when nobody is around?

    Hope this helps!