I've been thinking a lot about this lately. I'm bisexual and afab and I never felt like a girl or a woman. I've never been comfortable with a woman's name, clothes, pronouns, or with being perceived as a woman. Until someone "reminds" me I look female, I tend to forget and feel like my genderless inner self. When they do, it feels like a slap in the face. It causes me a lot of insecurity, depression, social anxiety and simply makes me feel like a fraud. For a while I thought I was a transman, but I don't feel like a man, either. I just assumed that was the only alternative. I'm most comfortable with gender-neutral pronouns. In spite of all of this, I'm okay with my body. I'm generally disturbed by the idea of having any kind of surgery. I just want a healthy body, and beyond that, I don't really care. A penis, a vagina, doesn't matter to me. I have breasts, largish ones even, but they don't bother me. I've heard that some transwomen consider their penises female: it's like that. My boobs aren't female, they're neutral. It feels wrong to dress them up to fit a feminine mold (a lacy push up bra or something) but just having them doesn't bug me. I guess I just want to know whether I'm crossing a line by calling myself/considering myself agender, in light of all this. I have only started doing so and feel really good, as if I'm finally embracing who I really am, but I don't want to appropriate a label I don't have the right to.
Being agender is that you feel agender you don't have to have to dislike your body to be a different gender then the one you were born. Some people do dislike the fact they have boobs or a penis but it doesn't make you any less you if you don't.
