I think I may be transgendered. I mean, I've played with the idea for a long time, even went as far as to come out to a few people as genderfluid a month or so ago (not that it changed anything because I didn't want my pronouns changed just yet) but I'm still unsure. The thing is I pretty well hate myself and how I look. The whole hating myself issue is another thing entirely but it does factor in a little. I just can't tell if I'm uncomfortable in my own skin because of the fact that I am not comfortable as a person or because I am not comfortable as a girl. I'd like to get a second opinion and some advice maybe on what I'm feeling because I don't really feel comfortable going to my friends about this just yet. Facts: I feel more comfortable in guy's clothes the vast majority of the time and they are usually what I wear. I've worn guy's deodorant exclusively for the past year and I like it. I got a really androgynous haircut and I felt a lot better than when I had long hair. I really REALLY hate having breasts. I don't necessarily feel uncomfortable with having a vagina but sometimes I think a penis would be nice (Like I don't feel it's necessary to my being I guess?). Being called by female pronouns doesn't bother me really but being lumped in as "one of the girls" makes me super uncomfortable and my blood boil a little bit. So yea... If anyone has a second opinion or some advice or whatever really hit me with it. I'd really appreciate that. Thanks in advance!
Wow, I feel like I am reading about myself lol. First off, gender expression and gender identity are separate things. You can be a girl and still love boy clothes and deodorant. I would suggest looking up different genders such as bi-gender or agender. Think about how you feel, write it down. I know people will ask if you dysphoria so that is something you need to think about. Do you feel female or do you feel male or something close to it? Or something other than those or outside the spectrum? I understand the worry of wondering if it is yourself as a person you are uncomfortable with, or you as a female. These thoughts are usually followed by, maybe if I lost more weight, or did this, or changed that. From my personal experience (meaning it might not apply to you) I have tried to change many things to fit into the female mold. It works for a while, weeks to months at a time, and then I am..dissatisfied I guess the word would be. The feeling of "yes I am a lovely girl, but that isn't who I feel like I am". I think that maybe if I do more female things I will feel more female, again sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. Eventually I did the one thing I hadn't let myself do, I let me be me. I wore male clothing, got a hair cute, got a binder, etc. I liked myself better. I actually felt confidence, though anxious that someone would say something a about a girl trying to be a guy when all I want to be is me. What it all boils down too...do you think you are some form of transgender?
