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So conflicted...

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by RalphHenry, May 24, 2015.

  1. RalphHenry

    RalphHenry Guest

    I haven't formally weighed the pro's and con's of coming out, but I'm pretty sure there are more pro's. Earlier this week, I felt extremely confident about coming out and what to say. Now, it's as if everything has come to a screeching halt. I'm not confident enough to come out, but I feel the urge to do it. When my dysphoria isn't precedent, it makes me doubt that I'm trans.

    It's as if the universe had somehow told my mother this is happening because she's been laying on the mushy terms of endearment only a mother would share with a daughter. Admitting this to her would shatter her hopes and dreams. She continues to remind me of how happy she is to have a daughter like me and to be so thankful she had a girl because she "wouldn't know what to do with a boy". Guess what, mom: you unknowingly raised one.

    Things have been so stressful that I've resorted to shutting myself in my room after an argument and crying. I can't take it. They unknowingly and occasionally poke fun of transgenders, especially with Bruce Jenner being in the media right now. They don't understand how hard it is for us. I just feel so stuck and lost right now. I don't know if they could take me coming out right now or what the next step would be if I did come out. The fact that things won't be the same after I say it to them is what is primarily keeping me in the closet, but it's also a load of other things my mind refuses to let come to the surface. :help: