So, right now I'm being forced to "live female" due to family circumstances and the fact that, well, I'm not totally out. To my family. Which is kind of important. Anyways, about 9/10 times in public people think I'm a guy. This makes me very happy, but it's also really awkward because I'll be with a family member and they'll weirdly correct said stranger and say "uhh.... she's my [sister, daughter, etc]" then the stranger will proceed with a stream of "I'm so sorry's" and making sure to emphatically refer to me as "ma'am" and whatnot. I'm teaching myself to embrace the awkwardness since when I do actually get into the in-between-passing-and-not-passing 2nd puberty that transguys go through, I'll be used to people being confused over what the heck I am. Though the fact that people see me as a boy now when I'm not really trying to pass is encouraging. Hopefully that means when I go full throttle in my efforts to go stealth it will be a lot easier. Then when people say "ma'am" I can correct them to call me sir. This is more of a rant, I realize, but it is something I've thought of before and it just reinforces my excitement to be out and living and passing as male. One time it was kind of funny because a stranger at my work called me a "BOY" really emphatically on passing. Then when she came to talk to me she stopped, pulled her sunglasses off, and said "You're a young girl aren't you?" My stomach dropped and I mumbled something like "yeah, no problem, it's okay..." (which I only said because my co-workers still view me as female) Then she added "You're too pretty to be a boy." Just because my face isn't acne ridden doesn't mean I can't be a boy. Oh well... But a great deal of times at work with strangers, they will refer to me as a guy and call me he/him. Which. Is. Awesome. Anyone have any stories about passing or not passing as a trans*person?
I get this all the time. And whenever I'm around my friends or family it is quite uncomfortable. To make it worse, my friends are really awkward and don't know how to correct people when they call me he, so they mostly just laugh at me. Also, while it is nice that I am read as male, I can also tell that they think I'm really young. I often get the "little man" or "bud" or other terms generally used for young boys, and if I pay for things, the cashiers often are like cute, that boy wants to pay for his parents(/siblings/whatever they think I'm with), thinking that my "parents" handed me money so I could pay. This always makes me feel really conflicted. I get like a type of age dysphoria instead of my gender dysphoria, so being correctly gendered just feels awkward when they think I am 10, and I'm actually 17... But oh well, what can you do?
I sadly, don't get this. I wish I did, I really don't feel comfortable in my own body right now because everyone still addresses me by masculine pronouns and phrases. Of course, my close friends are the only ones who actually are on board with my actual gender and even they slip up sometimes, they also often go for the gender-neutral pronouns (which I'm fine with tbh) but yeah. It's good that you're passing in public, not so much that there's awkwardness when people refer to you. Maybe it's time to come out if you're looking male. Good luck in the future.
I rarely pass as male unless they haven't really looked closely because I can't bind yet and some things are terribly obvious. Which is why I love being online so much; because of the way I act and because my birth name is gender neutral when shortened people mostly assume I'm a guy while some are unsure and don't want to seem rude by asking so just stick to the gender neutral birth name rather than pronouns. Plus I'm not out as genderfluid to my family, though I give them what I hope are hints such as shopping in the men's section and refusing my birth name and saying stuff like "oh I'm this name online". But I'm still in the process of being perceived as female, even though my gender rarely is. And it sucks to hear people say I'm their "sister, daughter, etc", especially when it's a correction. But I love my little brother; he was so confused when his mum said I was a girl not a boy after he said I was, like even with the body I have, as my stepmom pointed out, he just didn't believe I was anything other than a boy. That was actually a nice moment. It's awesome that you're passing a male. Nathan.
I can pass as 16 year old male, which doesn't bother me to much. But my family tends to correct others a lot.
I usually pass without fail now. One of my finest moments was a few years ago when I was dropping stuff off at our local soup kitchen, and an older gentleman asked my mom if I was her son. I was pre-T at this point, still rocking my "metal hair" and all.
"being correctly gendered just feels awkward when they think I am 10, and I'm actually 17..." Right, Cynder. Well at least they view as male so that's good. I hear that's a pretty widespread "problem" for transguys who are early in their transition or pre-T with everyone thinking they're like 13 when they're in their 20s. "Maybe it's time to come out if you're looking male." Yeah I wish so much that I could come out now, xfinitycomcast. But unfortunately that would go over very badly in my family. I'd probably be disowned... Which is why I'm waiting till I'm 18 and independent to tell them. But I do try to give hints, though...
I thankfully pass pre-T, but there are some people who, when talking to them, an opportunity to gender me doesn't come up. And that's when I get worried, wondering what gender they saw me as, or if they couldn't tell. I look like an androgynous person leaning slightly masculine, so I pass as male half the time and the other half I don't get gendered or they can't tell. Never female, though, which is great.
With the right clothes and under normal circumstances I always detect a milisecond of confusion in most people. I've had a couple of funny episodes lately on bathrooms. An older woman told me surprised that I 'looked like a boy'. Another woman, younger and a bit silly, gave a laugh, scaring me to death, as I was washing my hands and told me she was about to ask me to leave, 'cause she thought I was a... 'Young pervert'. I told her 'yeah, you are absolutely right, I'm a young pervert'... She laughed again, oh well... I completly passed a couple of years ago. Back then I was unhealthy skinny, and the guy apologized again and again, I felt sorry for him. It happened in front of relatives, and I was still struggling and inside the closet, so I had to fake some kind of shame-sadness. I'll never forget how proud the word 'Young man' made me feel... It was real, and I really felt as if the world could really see me, as if I was alive, and not a missunderstood shadow of myself as usual.
I wish people mistook me for a guy more often, I hate getting referred to as female. I don't pass very well so I often get the "Ma'am", "Lady", "Daughter" things. I like it when people mistake me for a guy, it makes me feel better. Most of the time I just want to correct people but I'm not exactly out yet so I don't want to take the risk right now.
I barely ever pass. It sucks, because I really try hard, I can't figure out what exactly it is that gives me away. I probably won't be able to regularly pass until I get hormones, which is part of the reason why social transition makes me nervous. I've almost given up on passing regularly. I love it when it happens though.
