I thought I was genderfluid for a while, but now I'm not so sure. Most of the time I either don't feel connected to an identity of "male" or "female" or I don't care. Sometimes I feel varying degrees of maleness, but rarely (to the point where I'm not sure I have ever) felt female. I'm just so used to being called by she/her pronouns. Sometimes I get dysphoria so bad that I don't want to get out of bed, but I was told (by a cis gay guy in my school's GSA) that I can't be trans because I like dresses and don't want surgery. I'm getting really tired of the cis people gate keeping the trans community. I feel like people won't believe it if I'm trans, because of the false idea that it's becoming a trend. Even my mother feels that way and yet she wonders why I don't like it when she brings up my trans girlfriend. She's so insensitive to what it feels like to be not cis and she belittles our struggles so much and I hate it and it makes me scared. The only thing I know is I'm not cis and I don't want surgery.:help:
Hey. It's really good that you're beginning to understand what you want with yourself, and sometimes it takes a really long time to even figure out where you stand in regards to gender. It's all about taking small steps to figure it out. You have yourself identifying under agender in your profile, but here's what I propose as a potential consideration. You said you feel varying degrees of maleness, but never felt female. Could it be that you're a demi-guy? Partially male, partially agender? It's something to consider. You can ignore that cis gay guy in your GSA: He's cis. And clearly doesn't have a grasp on the fact that gender isn't tied in to the clothes you wear. And that clothes don't define gender. You tell him that if he wore a dress, it wouldn't invalidate his gender. Just as it doesn't invalidate yours. It's a piece of cloth. Something that you sort of have to expect and get past is the fact that not everyone is going to understand, and close to no one is going to understand right off the bat. It's not a trend to be trans, you don't need surgeries to be trans, you are who you are. They can't invalidate that. And some people are not going to believe you, even when you sit down to tell them about it. Parents sometimes think that it's a phase, and by bringing the thought that it's a phase to your attention, you'll suddenly be "back to normal". Try not to take it to heart. I know it's hard, especially with family. But don't fold to any insults or invalidations. You are who you are. It's okay to not understand how you feel. It happens sometimes, and it takes a bit of time to figure it out. I know your situation is not ideal, but remember that there are people on this site who are kind and accepting, and there's always someone to talk to. If you have a tough time, feel free to drop a message on my wall. I'm more than willing to listen to rants.
I thought I was the only one who felt this way. And then the times I do feel female freak me out because I don't want to feel that way (not exactly sure why since that was what I was born). As well I have a brother who thinks I am hopping on some treand, which throws me into doubt because I don't want to consider transitioning if I am doing it for trend reasons. Be easier if I have dysphoria but I early do. Cis people are comfortable in their bodies and can't imagine why anyone would want to be the opposite sex. With trans issues becoming more visible they are getting more educated. Sadly the youth of tumblr is putting a tarnish on it. I'm not saying all tumblr people, but there are those that say they are trans even though they aren't because they think it is cool. They have no intention of transitioning, and blame all their issues on being trans. It makes it harder on non binary genders, especially if those people are comfortable enough with their body not to transition, or are unable to at the time. They are told they are confused, its a phase, or that they are following a trend. It makes them doubt themselves more than they already are. Ignore those who are trying to tell you what you are or are not. They are not you and there for have no right to dictate your life or tell you who you are
