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Gender Dysphoria Relief Column - Trans*people Please Contribute!

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Kodo, May 30, 2015.

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  1. Kodo

    Kodo
    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2015
    Messages:
    1,830
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    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    This column is a place to put techniques and methods for gender dysphoria relief to the trans*community here at EC. Particularly targeting those who are pre-transition or not yet out. Any advice is appreciated and this is an opportunity to help out other guys/girls suffering with gender dysphoria! And you might learn something new too.

    Just put anything you do, or know about, that helps relieve dysphoria, obviously excluding the obvious (which is HRT or surgery). Please specify who this advice is targeted for (for MtF or FtM) - although I suppose it would be obvious...

    I'll go first. I don't know anything about MtF issues, so I'll put what I know to be helpful for the FtM croud:

    Hair
    Getting a masculine haircut feels amazing and really helps with my gender dysphoria, so I can look in the mirror and think "Now there's a boy."

    Binder
    This one's pretty obvious for us FtMs... You can approach this many ways, either buy a binder online, get one from a binder exchange program, or make one at home. All of these can be googled so I won't explain in depth here.

    Work Out
    If you want your body to look more masculine pre-anything, working out is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Not only does it make your muscles tone out more, but it also boosts your body's natural production of testosterone. Focus on strength training for upper body and core, with cardio for lower body (since you obviously don't want bigger thighs and butt).

    Clothing
    Buy boy's clothes. Plain and simple.

    Photo stalking
    Maybe this is only me, but looking at awesome-cool dudes and envisioning my future self to be like them helps. I just think "yeah I may have a sucky body now, but one day I'll look like that." Then make a plan, with baby steps, of how to get there.

    Shaving
    Quit shaving like a girl and start shaving like a man. Obviously this is a matter of preference, but if you like body hair (leg, armpits, etc.) let it grow out and own it as the man you are. Furthermore, you can grab some men's shaving cream and Gillette razors and start shaving that peach fuzz off your face - even if you don't need too - just because it feels good.

    Read Manly Things
    Go find a Men's magazine, or the FTM Magazine, or browse of the website "The Art of Manliness" for some ideas

    Smells
    Get some Old Spice, or cologne. But not Axe.

    I hope some of what I've put down is at least a little bit helpful. Please contribute, as anything helps!

    Regards,
    -Rhys-
     
    #1 Kodo, May 30, 2015
  2. Guiseppe

    Guiseppe
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 29, 2015
    Messages:
    1
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    0
    Location:
    Charleston, SC
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'd just like to reiterate some of the topics Rhys mentioned as well as add a few of my own!

    Clothing
    Even if you have clothes that are purposefully androgynous and they're the things that help you feel more at ease, you're still relying on a system that you might think is tried and true. When I was coming out, I was still wearing a lot of the same clothes I had before which I think confused the friends that I came out to because suddenly I was asking to be called a different name but I still looked the same. Buying new clothes not only helps you feel better but you can present yourself more accurately to those you're surrounded by (friends and strangers!!) so they're more like to gender you properly on the first go.

    Voice
    I find that, in trying to pass, it helps a lot if you change the natural pitch of your voice, at least in your first meeting. When people meet you for the first time, they're going to use whatever pronouns they feel like match you so if you're speaking with a deeper voice and a firm handshake, they'll be more likely to gender you properly on the get-go and just think you have a lighter voice if you suddenly change pitches and/or forget to keep your voice change constant. Though I'm specifically speaking for FtM, I think the reverse could be said about MtF as well.

    Mannerisms
    I've watched a LOT of romantic comedies and other movies where the male and female protagonist have a lot of gestures that appear "feminine" or "masculine", in the traditional sense and I've actually used a lot of these observations to adjust the way I behave in public. The way you cross your legs, what you do with your hands when you're idle, and sometimes even you walk can be telltale signs to help people gender you properly and make you feel better about your gender expression.

    Smells
    You will feel way more like a dude sporting some rugged deodorant, old spice shampoo & body wash, and just a spritz of cologne. I cannot describe the feeling besides euphoric in that if you walk past someone (and you haven't used Axe) and they get a good whiff of you, all they'll think is "man" and that's what you want, as an FtM. Smell is a really important factor and people often overlook it so don't underestimate the power of a good bodywash!
     
    #2 Guiseppe, May 30, 2015
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