Transition jealousy

I definitely have that problem a lot. In fact I feel like that a lot on EC. I always feel guilty about it too, I want to feel happy for people (and I do!), but it's hard not to just be really jealous. I don't really have a good way to deal with it besides trying to ignore those feelings really, or reassuring myself with the thought that there's other people in the same situation as me so at least I'm not alone, although that's sort of a sad thing.

 

Oh gosh yes. It's probably that way for many trans people. I used to follow a lot of transguys on instagram who have been using hormones and whatnot for multiple years. They looked perfect to me with all their beards and surgeries and voices. I've been on hormones for a little over a year, and of course no where near as progressed as someone that has been on it for years and years.

Here's how I look at it, these guys have been doing this for a long time. Even though my body isn't how I want it yet, those guys had to go through this whole thing just like me. I think to myself that they were in the exact same spot as me right now. It didn't just happen like "BAM! you're fully transitioned!" after the first shot/dose, but sometimes I get jealous anyway xD

It takes time, lots of time and preparation. Sometimes with more people than others.

And this sounds lame and frustrating, but all you can have is patience. I'd never have imagined coming this far from a former "pretty-faced 'girl' who was so girly-looking it's totally impossible". It didn't happen quickly. It was so damn frustrating because my voice changed but my face still looked extremely feminine (now that's what I call embarrassing xDD).

But as much time as it took to even start testosterone, the year went by pretty fast and so much has changed. So, just be patient and do what ya gotta do to get this show on the road It's worth it and you'll feel a lot better!

 

Totally! I have the same problem with my wife's brother. He's only been out for about 1/6 as as long as I have but he's made just as much (and then a little bit) progress transitioning as I have. Plus he has a much much more accepting family that me, so I tend to get really really jealous of him, even though I couldn't be happier for him and all but I can't help but feel that way!

I don't know about making them go away, but just remember jealousy is a normal emotion! There's nothing inherently bad about being jealous, it's just annoying. Don't feel bad about how you feel about your friend, just try and focus on yourself and focus on the progresses you make! Every little thing is great.

 

Everytime I see a guy that has been on it for over a year, specially the young ones.
Quite a few good looking b.. out there.

 

I used to get this really bad. I still do when I see someone that looks super great. Jealousy is such an awful human emotion, wish I didn't have it.

 

I have a transmale friend that I met in highschool, who started transition after me, and learned about it from me and talking to my other transmale friend. They got to see a psych 1 year and 5 months sooner than I did in our same town, who got hormones the same time as me, and is getting or has gotten surgery already.

I was already angry/depressed about having to wait what felt like an unbearable amount of time to start transitioning, and they got to skip 1 1/2 years and to come out ahead.

I'm incredibly happy for him, but it was really bothersome at the time.

 

I get especially jealous when it's someone my age or younger, or someone that just came out. Even though I know it's not fair to them to be jealous.

 

Yeah age too, I feel like I started so late, but I am thankful I atleast started when I did.

 

Jealousy is what really screwed me up not that long ago. Women showing off their stages of transition. But I'm actually not too angry, because it forced me to rethink some things and open my mind a bit more.

And age to some extent too. I wish I could be figuring this out younger, with fewer attachments.

 

I think you said something about probably never being able to safely take T. If that is true, then it makes even more sense why you feel jealous of one of your best friends making transition progress. Maybe I've mixed you up with somebody else.

Either way, it's a good sign that you realise that jealously isn't doing you any favours. Focus on other things, and don't fuel negativity. Over time that should reduce how jealous you feel. I don't don't know if it's possible to destroy all that jealously. Anyway, you're still happy for your friend, so please don't beat yourself up about feeling a bit jealous.

As a trans guy, sometimes I feel jealous of cis guys, and it isn't their fault. If I woke up as some random cis guy and had to live their life, well, I'd be swapping one set of problems for another bunch of problems. The trans stuff is a huge burden, but at least I know myself pretty well.

You're definitely not alone when it comes to feeling jealous! Sometimes other people probably feel jealous of you for various reasons.

This is going to sound cliche... exercise can make you feel better about your body and improve mood. But you probably knew that already.

I feel bad if I read/talk too much about trans stuff, so I limit the time I spend doing that.

 

I get like that a lot, especially on tumblr where I see kids getting top surgery really fast either only a few short months in to being on T or pre-T. It sucks for my dysphoria and self-esteem sometimes, and I wish I knew how to overcome that jealousy.