Hello! I'm new to this forum so pardon me, but I'm stuck in a cycle of confusion on what I truley am and I would like some clarification. I've been questioning for about 4-5 months now and I narrowed my labels down to: Genderfluid, bigender or maybe just FtM. There are certain time periods I get where I'm confident with my body as a young woman, strutting and all that. But then there are those other time periods where I hate my body and end up crying and hating everything when I look at the mirror. I know im not just cis and wanting to be masculine because there are times where I want to wear binders, chop off my long hair and just be a boy. (only saying this because I was questioning this as well) I've talked to a close friend about this and she pointed out that I technically don't need labels because the gender spectrum is so vast and such, but I would rather have a label to in a way, to make me feel not so alone and different (hopefully what I'm saying makes sense :icon_redf) To some on this forum, it might be very obvious of what I am, but since I'm new to all this its very confusing and stressful... Any sort of help is greatly appretiated! Many thanks!
The gender spectrum is certainly vast... In my opinion, I would only say to identify as FtM if you truly want to be male and are not happy with being female - as a whole. That's basically what it comes down to. It's more than just wanting to be more masculine but an intense feeling that you are actually a man. This is usually coupled with gender dysphoria, though there are exceptions. Being labeled as FtM usually means you intend to go after medical, legal, and social transition fully into the role of the opposite sex. It's not just like "today I feel like a boy" and tomorrow you don't. I don't want to be harsh here as the label certainly does have wiggle room. I'm just laying what I think is a generalization when it comes to FtM's. If you have at times felt satisfied as female but also feel this masculine tendency or whatnot, I'd say you may more likely fit the label of gender fluid, bigender, agender, neutriosis, etc. My best advice if you actually want a label is to narrow it down by process of elimination. Find out what you are not and then whatever is left probably fits you best. It can be confusing and stressful, I know. But it's no hurry to label yourself. Often people will say "I am this" only to change and find a different label that fits them better. First I'd have identified as gay FtM just because I knew I wasn't straight and I thought gay was the only other option. But after I found out what asexuality was then everything made perfect sense and I adopted that label instead. Don't feel alone. There are many people, especially here on EC, who you can identify with. Take me for example, I was just sure that I was the only freakin' asexual transguy but no there are in fact others like me. It's cool that way. EC is a great community. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to write on my wall. Good luck, -Rhys-
