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Have people transitioned but not told their parents.

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by thesonoferik, Jun 3, 2015.

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  1. thesonoferik

    thesonoferik
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    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
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    A few people
    I was wondering if anyone has been able to stay closeted to their parents even after transitioning.

    Perhaps the biggest reservation I have about transitioning is that my parents will disown me, and I'm not sure I'd survive that. I attempted suicide a little over a year ago, and the thing that stopped me was the thought of the pain that I would cause my parents. So I'm conflicted in that my parents keep me alive, my truth would drive them away, but without them in the picture transitioning would be a lot easier.

    It would be a lot simpler if I could just bind and don male garb during holidays and stuff, but I'm not sure if that would be convincing.
     
    #1 thesonoferik, Jun 3, 2015
  2. Im Hazel

    Im Hazel
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    The changes from oestrogen are not hard to hide. Just wear baggy clothes and stuff. But it is probably best to tell them.
     
    #2 Im Hazel, Jun 3, 2015
  3. KayJay

    KayJay
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    I don't think it is worth hiding.

    Every time you present male it'll be hard on you. It'll wear you down. I think coming out eventually needs to be happen so you can be true to yourself, even if people you love don't support you, or even stop talking to you.

    Is it possible? Probably, should be if you do it well. Though at the same time it will also add more stress worrying about what you have to hide. In person, on things like Facebook, and you have to worry about anyone you are out to telling your parents. Which will make you worry about coming out to other people who may tell them.

    I know it is hard but in the end I think being happy with yourself is more important than family. I haven't talked to my mom in 5 years. It really is shitty but at the same time I'm a happier* person even without contact with my mother.

    *I'm not truly happy, but I'm much happier than I would have been otherwise.
     
    #3 KayJay, Jun 3, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2015
  4. Michael

    Michael
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    They are hard to hide, or are you forgetting that thing called 'binding'.

    Sexual secondary characteristics are very hard to hide, unless you've been truly blessed by mother nature.

    You can't hide it, that's the bad thing about being trans and not gay : You are forced to come out.
     
    #4 Michael, Jun 4, 2015
  5. DoriaN

    DoriaN
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    What? They are very hard to hide! This comes from personal experience too, it's like a ticking time bomb if you're trying to hide it but you can for only so long.
     
    #5 DoriaN, Jun 4, 2015
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