What do you say to someone who knew you as your old preferred name and you want them to know you as your new one? Note: These people are under the impression that I am cis Also: How do I be assertive enough without coming across as an asshole to use the correct pronouns and name on me? One more thing :lol: Does anyone else feel as though they aren't seen as their real gender by their friends, because they seem to be seriously forcing themselves to use the right pronouns and name?
Whale, I haven't come out to anyone irl yet, so I don't really have any advice for you. People are still calling me by my given name and I've been afraid to ask them to start calling me Andy, even though that name is fairly gender neutral :\
My birth name is actually unisex, but everyone associates it with me being "female". Worst thing is, I don't feel as though I look at all female to those who don't know my biological sex.
Remember it does take time for people to get used to using new pronouns and names, at least if they're forcing themselves that means they're trying. Which means they care about you and respect you.
I hate it. It hurts like hell. I'm not allowed to complain because they're trying. I'm grateful that they're trying. But every time they misgender me, I know it's because they still see me as a girl. If they really saw me as a guy, they wouldn't feel so natural calling me "she".
@Counting Bodies: I wouldn't be feeling this way if I hadn't come out to them so long ago and asked them about using my right pronouns. A year later, they're still seemingly, casually using female pronouns on me like there's no problem with it at all. @darkcomesoon: I'm sorry you're having a similar experience as I am. I know they are trying their hardest, but I really do know that deep down they still see me as female, whereas I am feeling so far male that it really brings me down, and causes major dysphoria for me.
I'm in that boat a lot, especially with relatives who live nearby who don't know and going to places that my old classmates work at. It's really awkward.
I don't know how independent you are from your family, but in order to take charge of your life you may want to distance yourself from them. Do you live on your own?
