Feeling like I've failed at being trans.

You haven't failed at all at being trans.

We have a similar situation at my school going on too, a so called "popular" guy came out as gay recently and absolutely no one cares and still respects him. Last year a guy from our school left because he was being treated harshly for being gay.

Now, I'm not too popular at school because I have my own opinions (amazing, I know). I know 100% that if I came out as trans I have the absolute shit picked out of me. But if it were someone else, say someone on the sports teams, they would have the schools complete support.

There is absolutely no reason that this should make you feel invalidated as trans, let alone, as a super manly man. I support you in yourself. Don't get yourself down, man.

 

You did nothing wrong. There is no right way to be transgender. Circumstances are different for all of us. My friends accept me but don't call me she very often yet. I'm going to remind them soon more often but due to not being out to everyone I can accept that for my protection.

But once I transition FULL time I will be constantly reminding people.

But you can't let other people's views dictate how you view yourself.

Don't let anyone bring you down or convince yourself you aren't you little brother. It's not being transgender that matters, it's being a man in the end. We all start somewhere. It's up to us to get where we want.

Also as Brandon said, you don't have to be the most manly man, I may not be the exact most feminine woman out there either. Be who you are.

 

When I see other trans women or cis women I get jealous of how feminine some are. Then I look at myself and say... well I do look more feminine than a lot of trans and cis women both.

There is no absolute on either side. So what if you're a guy who likes ... I dunno pink and ponies. I'm a girl who likes video games and beer.

Doesn't matter. Be true to yourself.

 

These guys have a lot of great advice. For me, while I haven't experienced the school conflict as you've mentioned, I do sometimes feel a bit jealous of other guys.

Other guys are born male. They got everything for free, and don't have to work for it. Why does everything have to be harder for me? I know these thoughts are ridiculous... If you think about it, the fact that you have to endure all the stress of transitioning to be seen as a man makes you more of a man. Any guys that say you're not a "real boy" or whatever couldn't be more wrong. What am I saying? All this manliness talk is silly in its own right.

But along the lines of what Kasey said, though the other way around, I do feel similarly. While sure I may not be the picturesque guy right now, I could be a whole lot worse. And it really helps me to envision my future self, after I'm out and on T, how much better it will be. It's funny because even right now I'm so much more "manly" than my brothers it hurts. When I come out to them it's not really going to be a surprise...

 

Everyone is unique, and you can't fail at being yourself. You are you, each man is different. Each person has a unique social status and circumstances as well. You can't give up on being your true self because then you will be more unhappy than you are now.

Don't worry, tis just life with it's challenges.

 

There used to be a few trans kids at my school that had transitioned (I'm pretty sure they were on hormones) and I was always really jealous of them. If I came out at school I don't think people would take me seriously.
That doesn't make you a failure though, none of that is your fault.

Also, how could they say that being trans or gay is a choice? It doesn't work like that

 

The world has failed in accepting us. We cannot be failures just for being who we are.