1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

oh god the ''what if.''

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by yaoicore, Jun 19, 2015.

  1. yaoicore

    yaoicore Guest

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2015
    Messages:
    402
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    florida
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    ok I kind a was thinking this today after I miss and cut myself I was cutting up something to eat not trying to kill myself. but any way's I thought to myself ''what if I died today'' or ''what if I died the next day.'' will I be remember as a girl that was out of reality? or will they put woman clothes on me? dam I better start facing it now because it say's I'm a girl on my papers I know mom will put me on a dress. just know that it's fucking over for me:dry:.
     
  2. iiimee

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2014
    Messages:
    51
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    In my imagination.
    Dude, that is one of my nightmares... I mean, I'm an Atheist, so I don't believe I'll be looking down at my body from Heaven or Hell or whatever, but I still don't want to be remembered incorrectly. Still, my mom is supportive... but would she put boy clothes on me, when everyone else ISN'T supportive? I hope she would... but my dad isn't supportive, not that he has custody of me... but it is quite frightening.
     
  3. yaoicore

    yaoicore Guest

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2015
    Messages:
    402
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    florida
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    to be honest I think I might be an Atheist
    I feel you on that one since my parent's believe in god or what ever you know what that mean right? they believe in that kind a soft people would say.... well your died why should you care about the outfit that they would put on you ......to me it's really important. after all that is my only request to be bury with a suite on like any other man.

    thank for the reply
     
    #3 yaoicore, Jun 19, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2015
  4. Matto_Corvo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2015
    Messages:
    2,270
    Likes Received:
    51
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    This is why I made it clear to my whole family that I am to be cremated. No god speeches as I am agnostic. Just wish me luck in my next life and throw my ashes to the wind.
     
  5. yaoicore

    yaoicore Guest

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2015
    Messages:
    402
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    florida
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    yea I want that good idea never mind the suit
    thanks for replying
     
  6. Kaya-Sente

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2015
    Messages:
    60
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Colorado
    Frankly, I never considered my body, possibly because im not out. I find myself trying to find a way to explain what I leave behind. My hardrive full of information on trans issues, my growing collection of clothes... I am terrified with the possibility that I wont be there to help explain any of it. (Not that I have any idea how to explain it to them anyways)

    Edit: I need to go ahead and ask, to clarify and out of concern. You aren't considering an early death are you?
    If you are please ask for help, here or through the numerous other sources.

    I didn't get that impression, but I need to make sure it is said.
     
  7. Posthuman666

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2015
    Messages:
    626
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    America
    Two sentence horror story.
     
  8. Open Arms

    Open Arms Guest

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2015
    Messages:
    493
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Speaking of "what is left behind"... true story. My friend was the executrix for her single aunt who had been a career/long term missionary. When the aunt died, my friend found stuff in her apartment which proved byond doubt that she had been in a lesbian relationship with a fellow missionary lady for many, many years. My friend made sure all of the evidence was destroyed, thus avoiding all scandal in the family, church and community.

    So, maybe give a trusted friend or relative a key to your place in case you die? They can get rid of stuff for you.
     
  9. yaoicore

    yaoicore Guest

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2015
    Messages:
    402
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    florida
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    no it's not like that it's just that I had a dream of my death it was a random death in my head. all I remember was being misgender, and since my mom is trying to pretend like I'm playing dress up I'm afraid even at death I'll never be ''son.''

    ---------- Post added 20th Jun 2015 at 11:25 PM ----------

    I'd have to talk with my friend roommate about doing something like that since I don't really have that many people in my life
     
  10. Daydreamer1

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2011
    Messages:
    5,680
    Likes Received:
    21
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Ah, the sentence that makes me crap myself every time. I don't believe that there's an afterlife or a place we go after death, but as others said, I don't want to be remembered incorrectly, one of the few things that kept me from going through with one of the many plans I had.

    I see being trans as being a struggling actor; hoping that people will see you for who you are as a person, and not one of your most acclaimed and recognized character roles ever (or remember you as such). It would be the worst insult to be remembered for a mask you wore out of fear, judgement, and force rather than the real flesh and bone person underneath.
     
  11. yaoicore

    yaoicore Guest

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2015
    Messages:
    402
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    florida
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    yes I agree