Sorry for the over dramatic title, I'm really bad at titling to begin with. Anyways, I am a trans man. I tried to come out to my mother once and was met with screaming and verbal violence, no support at all. Any attempt to ask for correct pronouns/name has been unsuccessful to the point the memories are mostly blocked out. I'm sick and tired of being misgendered, ridiculed, made fun of, harassed, abused, and driven to the extremes im at simply because I'm trans. No one actually sees me as male, they just say they do sometimes so I won't get upset. No one will love me as much as they would if I was cis. It makes me just want to sleep forever and stop eating eatjng forever. I have no idea what to do.
I'm sorry I'm not good at advice, but I am also a transman and I see you as male and would love you no matter what gender you were. There are unkind people in this world who won't try to understand, but there are also good people who will love and accept you no matter what. These are the people you need to think of when you're feeling un-welcomed and unwanted. People on this form will help you and care about you, and there are others in real life too, you just have to find them.