While surfing the interwebs at an ungodly hour, I noticed that a lot of people have problems with people who are genderfluid in the sense of "I'm a boy, then I'm a girl, now I'm both, blah blah". It seems certain people think that you can't switch genders, and that invalidates the entire concept of genderfluidity. Now, haters are going to hate. But for the sake of explanation, do you (my genderfluid peeps) prefer to say, "I identify as a boy, and then a girl" or something along the lines of, "I express myself in a more masculine way, but I can be feminine too"? Or is that politically incorrect? When I came out to my boyfriend, he was REALLY confused by the idea. "Wait, so...you're a boy? But you're not?" So I used the terms feminine/masculine and decided to explain through gender expression before extending it further. Although, that might just be personal preference because I tend to express my gender in a traditional manner. I know that wearing a dress does not make you a girl, but that's how I typically (not always) express myself when I'm a girl. MAIN POINT: when talking about/explaining being genderfluid, do you prefer the terms boy/girl or feminine/masculine? And is saying I'm more masculine/feminine politically incorrect?
I don't think It's right to use the term masculine/feminine to describe gender identity. I am a cis woman who is 90% masculine and rejects everything feminine, and I also know trans men who are 90% feminine in expression. So when these terms are used, it erases us and our genders by implying that we aren't "real" men/women but something else. Gender identity is about the internal feeling of being a man or a woman like you said above. I dress and act like a stereotypical boy but I still know in my heart that I am a woman since that's how my brain feels. It would better if you expressed it that way.
Yeah, I think I see that now. I think it was easier for me to explain it in those terms (since I express my identity in a sort of stereotypical way), but I do understand that there's a distinction, and I did make that clear to my boyfriend after he understood what genderfluidity was. I'll remember not to explain /other people's/ identities with those words, but rather with their actual gender. Thank you (Love that picture by the way!)
I much prefer describing it in terms of gender rather than expression. First, it's simply the accurate way to explain it. Gender has nothing to do with the clothes you wear. Second, I think explaining genderfluidity as being masculine one day and feminine the next just reinforces the misconception that genderfluid people are just people who like to wear guys' clothes some days and girls' clothes other days. It's a major oversimplification of what genderfluidity actually entails. I would say that using masculine and feminine gender expression to begin an explanation is fine as long as you are only describing your experience (and not claiming that all people experience it that way) and as long as you do eventually explain that genderfluidity isn't about changing expression, it's about changing gender, and that you can wear whatever you want and it doesn't determine or invalidate your gender identity. It's an oversimplification, but it's a fine place to start if your boyfriend's really clueless. Just make sure it's an introduction to a real explanation, instead of a replacement for it.
Yeah, he was really clueless, he had never even heard of the term genderfluid. After he got the idea through my expression, I did add on to basically say, "now switch that out with actual gender", and I did my best to make it clear everyone expresses and identifies themselves differently.
