Well here's my predicament. I was born a female. I never really liked anything that had to do with being a female. As a child I hated wearing dresses and playing girly games. I preferred to hang out with the boys and do guy things. I didn't even fully understand the difference between guys and girls until puberty which was hell. I was devastated by having to wear a bra. My guy friends started treating me differently all of a sudden. I still hated girly clothes. All of the girls at my school made fun of me and now I was losing my guy friends as well. I ended up buying girl clothes and assimilating into the girly lifestyle just to make the bullying go away, but I still hated it all. I was always into guys. I thought I was straight until high school started. I started seeing girls differently. I wanted to be..not their girlfriend but their boyfriend. I began looking at guys as role models and people who I wanted to be like. As high school progressed, I knew I wanted to be a guy more than anything. But it wasn't that simple. I have a very conservative Christian family and a very conservative Christian foster family. I'm afraid that if I made my feelings known that I would be shunned. Also, I have the most amazing boyfriend who I love more than anything. He is straight. He wants a girlfriend not a boyfriend. I want to be a girl for him. I feel pretty when I'm with him and being a girl is worth it when he is around me. He makes me feel loved and supported and he is the best person I have ever met. but when I'm away from him and my family, the urge to be a guy kicks back in again. What am I? who am I? I'm so confused! Please help!!
