Hi, I am feeling very confused about my gender at the moment. I have always been quite manly (I am biologically a woman) but have recently started being honest about who I am. Some days I feel like a woman others like a man, I would love to be able to openly do this and have the days where I dress and act like a man but I have a feeling I will be disowned for it. I recently came out to my parents about being a lesbian (I had to tell them as I have gotten into a serious relationship with a transgender woman). They did not take this well and are very derogatory about the two of us. I was just hoping for some advice on how to cope with all of this. Sorry if none of that made any sense!!! I havent told my partner this as I am scared it will put her off (daft I know) Thanks in advance H x
Being honest with yourself is the biggest fucking thing you need to do in any situation ever. You don'tneed to like who you are but you do need to be honest because the only person your lying to is yourself. Thats not even really about coming to terms with whovyou are thats about getting over yourself and realizing there is a larger world outside of just you and who you are. If you fixate on you and who you are and mememe so,etimes it does more damege then good. Thats not to say your parents should not except you for who you are though. They should. Its just that sometimes your emotions arent what mater. Maybe your familly is what matters or maybe she is what matters i cant really make that call for you bout there is always a bigger picture.
It's weird how similar our situations are! I've just started coming out to a few people as genderfluid, it was my girlfriend, a trans woman, who suggested that genderfluid was probably the label that fit me best. I'm female some days, male others, and often i fall somewhere in between. I don't plan on telling my parents for the same reasons as you, they had enough trouble with the lesbianism! The most important thing is to get it all straight in your own head, accept yourself, express yourself honestly, and you'll feel better for it. I felt better as soon as i started being honest with myself, telling other people isn't necessary for me unless i feel they need to know. I'd tell your partner though, she'll understand, and mine has been the biggest source of support i have, you'll need support to figure this out. Deal with your parents afterwards, you'll be in a much better position to deal with their reaction once you are secure in yourself and your identity.
