Hi. For the longest time, I've hated my body. I've always hated my hair, and my name as well. I've found out about transgender and gender fluid fairly recently, and I'm starting to question my gender. When I was little, I hated wearing dresses, and hated that my mum made me dance. At the time I thought that I was just a "tomboy". My older cousin was also a "tomboy", so I figured that I was just trying to be like her. When I first found out about being transgender, I didn't think that I was trans, because I watched a documentary that explained that the kids in the documentary, always knew that they were not born in the correct body. I've never really thought that I was male until recently. I started watching a ftm guy on YouTube, and after hearing him explain how he hated his body while still identifying as a girl, but didn't know why, I began thinking that I was trans. I've also thought about being gender fluid. Some days I wear dresses, and do stereotypically feminine things, but I don't know if that is because of my gender, or because I'm trying to be a cis female. If I had the option to be a man naturally, I would do it in a heartbeat, but I'm still confused. I don't really want to come out atm, because I still don't know if I am really trans, or it's just a phase. I could really use some help to figure this out. Thanks so much.
I certainly didn't know I was trans. And because I didn't know I was male I thought I couldn't be. Have you've checked out uppercasechase on YouTube? I think he didn't know either. He had a happy childhood and thought himself a butch lesbian till he found out about being trans.
Well, it doesn't seem like a phase. Gender identity is very, very confusing, and it takes time. Some soul searching will be necessary, but once you come to terms with yourself things will get better, I promise. If you need anything, feel free to message me. (*hug*)
There's lots of talk of people knowing they were trans as young as two, which can confuse older people, especially with documentaries focusing on children a lot. But it's just as normal for people to only realize later - I barely even remember my childhood, but no one in my family have ever told me that I'd tell them I want to be a boy (there's a chance they just don't want me to know, thinking it a phase, but I find it unlikely; my dad definitely would have laughed about it... in a good way). I was a tomboy; I hated dresses, I was forced to have dolls, I rode skateboards. But I didn't know. If being a boy is natural to you, then transgender is probably you. Maybe try imagining yourself as a (cis) boy for a day - look in the mirror in the morning and say it's who you are, wear your most 'boyish' clothes, imagine a different name (if your name isn't unisex or you're not comfortable with it in the scenario). You don't have to tell anyone, it's just a day for you. This is just an example. If it feels right, you might have your answer. If it doesn't or you're still confused, there are great YouTubers who might help - upperchaseCHASE1, skylarkeleven, TheRealAlexBertie. And people here are always happy to help. I hope this helps in any way.
Thank you! This really helped me. I actually started watching Alex, which is why I started thinking that I was trans. I was also forced to have dolls, even though I hated them. Hopefully after trying to be a boy for a day, I'll know. Thanks again! ---------- Post added 29th Jun 2015 at 11:25 AM ---------- Yeah it is! Before I started questioning my gender, I was questioning my sexuality, until I finally figured out I was pansexual. It was very difficult and confusing, so I don't think this will be much better :l Hopefully by the end of it I'll be much happier ---------- Post added 29th Jun 2015 at 11:27 AM ---------- Ok thanks! Figuring out that I'm most likely trans is really helpful. Now I just have to work on passing and coming out