Is it possible to be transgender and not realize it? I ask this because I have a friend who was questioning this and started to believe that people thought this about him. he told me he had this first thought when he was under the influence of marijuana and its turned into something that he just cant let go. He doesn't see himself as a women but feels that when he gets around people they start to question his sexuality and he feels his voice changes constantly going from masculine to very feminem and he feels that its off putting to people. for whatever reason he still has these thoughts and cant seem to drop them and it makes him uncomfortable. he told me he thinks hes bi because he can be sexual with women and men but would prefer to date women. Not sure what to tell him and I know hes always suffered from extreme social anxiety and is very reclusive and has low self esteem and no confidence. I want to help him but im not sure what to tell him.
Yep. Sounds similar to me. Though your title is kind of contrry to your message subject so I'm not sure what you are wanting Dx
I don't think it's possible to be trans and not realize it. If you are trans, you would realize that something is wrong, even if you didn't know what that wrongness was called. It's like if you were sick with fever and chills. Well you know you're sick because you feel sick - even if people around you accuse you of making it up for whatever reason (sympathy, attention, etc). Then you figure out the name of your sickness, which is the flu! Now everything makes sense, and you learn that other people have had the flu too and it is a real thing. You can go to the doctor and get medicine to feel better. This analogy is just to illustrate that, even if you don't know a lot about something or what it is called, doesn't mean it isn't there. As to your friend, I would recommend researching what transgenderism is with him. The deeper you get with your understanding, the more clear it becomes if this is really what you're feeling. You just have to figure out if "transgender" is the proper diagnosis. Try these videos, they helped me to understand: I Didn't Know I Was Trans! How I Knew I Was Transgender... Hope this helped. -Peter-
i asked him do you see yourself as a women. he replied no i don't and that he sees himself as a man but he developed this strange belief that other people don't see that and he thinks that people are jumping to this conclusion when hes around people and that he had told someone this years ago and now he feels that this rumor has started about him. i get why this gives him anxiety and im thinking that he thought about it so much that it turned into some kind of paranoia that he cant let go when the topic of trans people comes up casually in conversation.
Hmm... I would reassure him that only he can know if he really is trans and that many cis men have higher pitched voices or act in stereotypically feminine ways. Many men even cross dress and are still not considered to be trans. As long as he sees himself as a man and doesn't suffer from any form of gender or body dysphoria there is no real reason to think that he is trans.
so your thinking this is more of a mental health issue than a gender identiy issue? I think him having sexual experiences with the same sex and now knowing that he could do this really confused him because now hes not sure if this means that hes gay hes struggling with that aswell.
From the story that you tell, yes, it seems to be an anxiety disorder. However, none of us can know what he feels deep inside and as such I can't say for sure. Btw, a person's sexuality has nothing to do with whether or not a person is trans, quite a few of us see ourselves as asexual before we transition because of body dysphoria and statistically speaking we are just as likely to be attracted to the same sex as the opposite sex.
thanks for the advice do you know anything i can give him any links or quotes on self confidence because i feel this is whats holding him back from enjoying life.
Here's a good resource for training social skills: Behavior Management: Getting to the Bottom of Social Skills Deficits | LD Topics | LD OnLine In general, giving him positive feedback and letting him know that most people tend to think mainly about themselves and he is not being judged constantly by others while he is in their company can be helpful.
Exactly. I only realized I was trans around four months ago, but I always knew that something was wrong. It was this feeling of general unease that I couldn't place. That doesn't mean that you always instinctively know, everyone is different. However, a big part of being trans seems to be a choice. I'm not saying people just feel like it, or it's a whim, but they choose whether or not to pursue it. There is strong evidence that being trans has to do with the brain's structure and the hormone levels it receives in the womb. So maybe your friend is scientifically speaking trans, maybe not. If he feels more comfortable as a man and being perceived as such, then he isn't obligated by anyone to transition. When it comes down to it, he needs to be comfortable with who he is, and it doesn't matter how he's wired in his brain.
