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dominant or submissive??

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by unsureofmyself, Jun 29, 2015.

  1. unsureofmyself

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    I know this is kind of a random thing to ask, but, I've heard about the whole dominant and submissive roles in relationships. I don't know if this is the case ALL the time, but with straight couples I heard the male is dominant (generally) and the female is submissive. So... if you are LGBT how do you figure out which one you are? I'm interested mainly to hear from people who are bisexual, as to how they realised which they were, but anyone's advice is appreciated!

    Thanks guys (&&&)
     
  2. Fallingdown7

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    Hey there, well I'm not bisexual but I hope I can comment anyway.

    Not all couples have a strict dominant or submissive role, myself included. Sometimes I prefer being dominant and other times submissive. Or sometimes I prefer to stay on equal terms. Not all straight couples follow the normal pattern either. I personally know a dominant woman dating a submissive man, so it just depends on your feelings.

    As for bisexuals, it varies. I have known bi women who are more "traditional" such as wanting to be submissive to men and dominant to women. But I also know bi girls who are strictly dominant or strictly submissive with both genders.

    Completely a personal preference!
     
  3. unsureofmyself

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    Thanks, Fallingdown7. I have a feeling that's sort of how I fit in with that. Submissive to men and dominant with women. I just wanted to see if that was a common thing to feel, if you can understand that. Thanks!!!!! (&&&)
     
  4. Daydreamer1

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    My partner and I switch it up and neither of us are strictly dominant or submissive.
     
  5. Jinkies

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    In my experience, it's how your body's wired. For example, I can only really get off when I'm on the receiving end. There are some exceptions, but other than that, I've got my work laid out for me.
     
  6. thepandaboss

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    It just depends on the couple, honestly. Even an opposite-sex couple can vary on who's the dominant one. Everyone is different. That being said, I don't think there really is a clear dominant/sub in my relationship. My partner may, more often than not, be a top but we take turns leading the reins so to speak.
     
  7. unsureofmyself

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    Oh ok. You guys have really helped shed light on this. Thanks! I thought it had to be one way or the other, so I was kinda confused. Thanks everyone!
     
  8. Nekoko

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    I'm my relationships I'm typically the dominant one but I can go either way there, I just tend to date girls who prefer to be submissive. That said, a word of advice, always treat your submissive partner with respect, even when you play around with "ownership" roles you have to remember that this person you care about is your EQUAL. I know it sounds like a strange thing to harp on but it is very important, because it's very easy to forget this in the moment during play for a lot of people... I speak from experience here... On both sides >~<

    Annnnd I just realized this thread isn't necessarily talking about the bdsm scene xD Still, I think my words stand true outside that community... Respect is key in any relationship!
     
  9. unsureofmyself

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    I'm so glad you brought that idea to attention though, Nekoko! That is actually a very important point that may be overlooked! :slight_smile:
     
  10. MarlaR

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    If it's a relationship that I'm interested in and and want to continue, I usually take the dominant role whether I want to or not. It can be fulfilling if the partner is willing to accept their role as being submissive. Otherwise, it becomes too much of a burden.
     
  11. Confused239

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    I feel like i am a submissive personally, im a male who wants to be female and is attracted to women, but i want women to take charge. Even in my one male female relationship i hated taking the dominant role. I manage my own business and i find i have to force my self to be dominant a leader so my guys dont walk all over me. And its painful to do so i believe i am a submissive
     
  12. Rochelle86

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    Generally unless your doing kinky stuff in bed, how you act with your partner is mostly dependent on what stage your level of trust is with that person. When I was with my ex we never really had a clear dom-sup relationship. We kinda went with the flow of the moment. I feel like I can be submissive if the person I'm with has a lot of experience, otherwise I try to take the lead.
     
  13. AlexTheGrey

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    I'd say I'm more submissive than dominant, which makes for weird interactions when a woman expects you to be dominant because they see you through male stereotypes, and you really don't want that.

    But folks are right. There is enough variance out there in all relationships. The stereotypes are an absolutely horrible place to start, because every story I've heard shows how it is wrong in some way or another.
     
  14. ArlettBaySB

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    I can totally relate to this. Some people, like me, love constantly taking different roles in the relationship, either submissive or dominant.
    It is a fluid thing, at least for me :icon_wink
    And as I am a pansexual it works for all gender and possible partners.
    I don't care as long as we get to enjoy it.