Yesterday was just a mix of emotions. From spending the day with my aunts to people repeadtly messaging me about my pronouns on Facebook once a friend pointed out that they were set on male. Late last night I sort of just got fed up with some stuff and posted this on Facebook. .... Yes, I know that the way I dress makes me look like a boy. I happen to very much enjoy the way I look. Yes, I know my pronouns are set to male. No, it is not a glich. I set them to that myself. Yes, I have a reason for all this. No, I do not currently wish to talk about it. That is all. Thank you and good night... Its as close as I've come to telling the world that might be trans. After wards I was suddenly hit with doubt. What if I'm wrong about being trans? My doubt stems from the fact that I have no social dysphoria. I don't mind the female pronouns. I like Alexander better, but I don't mind Stacy. I would have to learn/get use to being seen as male once I've transition. I worried that while I would be more comfortable in my body after transitioning I might suddenly suffer social dysphoria because I am seen as male. I think it has a lot to do because no one uses male pronouns with me. I have spent hours worrying over this and questioning why I want to transition. It all comes down to the point of the crippling depression I had my whole teen life over my body and hatred of boobs. It comes down to the happiness I get when I look male. The joy I feel when I see Alexander in the mirror. It comes down to the fact that I want to BE male, whatever that means. Some days the need to be male is stronger than others. Other days its this distant white noise in the back of my mind. Watching YouTube videos have helped. Seeing other ftms who act as feminine as I do in the start. Makes me realize that its a learning process for all of ud. We were raised one way and now we have to learn the other way. Still I worry that posting what I did on Facebook might of been stupid. As much transgender things I repost they might guess what is going on. Then again I would have to tell them sooner or later.
I think we all wanna be seen as what we wanna be so your feelings are valid. As far as facebook rampage comments i think alot of us has made one we regret a bit. But those ones are done out of feelings that are strong enough to mention.
as far as i can tell you made the right decision i just hope everything turnes out well for you hun (*hug*) if you ever need someone to vent to feel free to message me at any time day or night, and remember, every step you make to be yourself is a step in the right direction.
Sometimes being stupid and being unbelievably brave can be confueed for each other and you are undoubtedly brave and not at all stupid... sometimes we need to take risks and leave our comfort zone. Even if someone responds badly, it doesn't mean that you made a mistake, it just means that you moved one step forward and hopefully this event will be the catalyst for him to eventually accept you for who you are. Much hugs and admiration for being brave enough to be yourself and for sharing it with others! Yael
My mom just called me baby girl on Facebook. Was a lot more annoying than I thought it would be. ---------- Post added 2nd Jul 2015 at 03:45 PM ---------- And then I asked her not to and she apologized and said okay. Then my aunt responded under that repeatedly calling me baby girl. And acting like its a joke.
If you come out and you don't get it quite right just tell people you learned more about yourself and come out again. You will have had practice and all the people who stood by you the first time will be there for the second
Sounds ballsy, and stereotypically manly, so even though you might feel terrified about it, my personal experience with various odd situations in the past, is that "nerves of steel" is really mostly about having sufficiently baggy jeans so that other people don't see your legs shaking. Think: pubescent stand-offs against teachers who have the power to give you detentions and stuff. Sorry, not sure if I can help there. I had my own very weird day. I was feeling crappy, and found myself binge-researching a lot of transgender videos on YT, and then one of the quotes hit me so hard I almost landed in the next dimension! It was (roughly) "if you're watching this video for yourself, or researching what transgender is on-line, then you are likely transgender, because cis-people do not ask this question 'am I transgender?'. Not generally." I had some stuff going on that had a compounding effect on my emotions, and it was a full moon, which I'm openly superstitious about. So yeah, weirdness all round. Friends? Family? F* 'em... OK, maybe don't presume that people will be against you. Isn't expressing your real gender meant to be a social thing, too? Why should cis-people have some kind of monopoly on "being themselves" and rubbing it in everyone's faces in the first place? Just some confused thoughts from a confused mind
Happen to like my friends and family. I just have a habit of falling silent any time one of my aunts speaks out against an opinion I have. She is the one that is repeatedly calling me baby girl after I posted that. Even though I asked her not to.
