1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

More Dreams.

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by LuciaLukie, Jul 3, 2015.

  1. LuciaLukie

    LuciaLukie Guest

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2015
    Messages:
    45
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    So, in a previous post I mentioned having a dream where I was Male, which felt strange but kind of good. Well lately, I've had a couple more, plus it's cropped up in some of my daydreams, in fact it's becoming more of a common fantasy to find drifting through my head. And the more dreams and daydreams I have, the more...right it feels. I dunno, just the Male version of me that I see in my dreams feels more real than the Female version of me that I'm 'supposed' to be...

    but now reading through all that^ and thinking about it, my head still feels all fuzzy and confused whenever I think about my gender identity...is that normal? So mixed up at the moment.
     
  2. Matto_Corvo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2015
    Messages:
    2,270
    Likes Received:
    51
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I was the same way. Started dreaming and day dreaming bout being male till I couldn't stop if I wanted.
     
  3. Invidia

    Invidia Guest

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2015
    Messages:
    2,802
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Far above the clouds, gazing deep below the Earth
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    It is perfectly alright :slight_smile:

    I've even had intense hallucination(s) about being female.

    It's normal to feel confused about your gender identity. Some people land in an "absolute" fairly quickly, some continue to explore for years and years.

    In what way do you feel more real when you're male?
     
  4. Matto_Corvo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2015
    Messages:
    2,270
    Likes Received:
    51
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    And not sure if it counts as a day dream but my whole life there are times when I look down and go "wow, I'm male. This is a male arm. This is a male leg." Just seem to constantly see myself as male.

    So your dreams are normal for us trans people.
     
  5. DiamondShape

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2015
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    Lukie, I feel I've had a similar experience to yours, but my daydreams and dreaming started when I was 20. I used to have many daydreams where I was my cis-gendered self, but after the female-gendered daydreams started these gradually all grew to have a female protagonist that --was-- me. I now find it hard to imagine my own face instead of a female one when I think of myself abstractly. I can still do it, but it takes a second of focus, while the female face just jumps right out at me.
    I've had many dreams where I wasn't myself (different age, race, gender--even fictional humanoid species), but I remember the first time I got to lucidly pick a shape to be in a dream. You see, when I am these other people in my dream I don't remember who I am in the real world: my name is different, my history is different, my personality is different. But sometimes I do dream as myself, maybe + or - a few years from my current age, decidedly believing that I am <insert my full name here>. I was lucid dreaming in this more self-congruent way once, and I realized I could change my shape into whatever I wanted, and immediately I willed myself to be a woman. I was ecstatic from then until I woke.
    Now, I have a healthy degree of skepticism for dream analysis and for fantasy. I've had a lengthy internal debate about if it was the daydreams driving my wish to be a woman, or if it was my wish to be a woman that was driving me to have the daydreams. I know humans can snowball a feeling through fantasizing about it, that's pretty much the definition of infatuation. The conclusion I've came to is to run one "positive" experiment and one "negative" experiment. The positive experiment is cross-dressing: I'm going to try my best to live out the daydream of being a woman to see how it makes me feel. The negative experiment is going to be a concerted and calm (no condemnations, no internal shouting) effort to cease and desist having the female daydreams and thoughts for 1 to 2 weeks. I've tried this before, but did so unsuccessfully...but if I can "just forget" about this stuff, and it doesn't reoccur then I'll consider it to have just been a self-perpetuating obsession. However, if the daydreams reoccur, or if cross-dressing/being treated like a woman in social situations is profoundly satisfying, then I know for sure that these feelings aren't just a daydream or escapism gone awry.
    In the grand scheme of things two weeks isn't that much time, and so long as one doesn't form a self-destructive or chronic habit of denying a part of oneself I don't think the negative experiment is that unhealthy. I can't tell you what you'd call yourself if you found that you truly enjoying being treated as a male; that would depend also upon how you feel being treated as a female. The best word I've been able to find to describe my own feelings about the male/female split is "chimeric": I have my birth shape and a desire to have another shape as well, but the two don't ever fight.
    Best of luck; I've found this all to be very confusing with two decades under my belt as well as (undergraduate) degrees in neuroscience and psychology: I can't imagine how I'd handle it all if I was still a teen.

    ---------- Post added 3rd Jul 2015 at 02:01 PM ----------

    By the way, I used some language in there like "escapism gone awry" or "self-perpetuating obsession." I would never think or dare to accuse another person's gender identity of being one of those things; I only propose those explanations as alternate hypotheses as part of my own self-skepticism.
     
  6. LuciaLukie

    LuciaLukie Guest

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2015
    Messages:
    45
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Thanks for telling me that, it's quite reassuring.

    ---------- Post added 4th Jul 2015 at 09:35 AM ----------

    That's good to know. Makes me feel better anyway.

    I dunno, it just feels like a more solid identity, as though Female me is the dream one. It's confusing though.

    ---------- Post added 4th Jul 2015 at 09:39 AM ----------

    Nice to know that others experience this as well. That sounds a little overwhelming, my dreams aren't as intense as that! But thank you for the good luck wishes! I hope I get to the bottom of my dreams before it gets quite as intense as your experience.
     
  7. Michael

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2014
    Messages:
    2,602
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    This was me for 20 years. I was always very concious of wearing a mask, but I saw no other way. During my long periods of denial, those thoughts filled me with anger against myself, I felt as if I wasn't 'doing it good enough' (trying to 'correct' my 'bad behaviour').



    Just do whatever makes you happy every moment, don't try to invalidate or deny your own feelings, 'cause it will go straight against yourself at the end.

    There is nothing wrong with the way you feel. It's just you being you, whatever it is... There is no reason to be afraid.
     
  8. LuciaLukie

    LuciaLukie Guest

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2015
    Messages:
    45
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Thanks for the advice! I'm not afraid, at least I don't think I am, the only trouble I have with my feelings is I'm not sure what they mean.
     
  9. Rochelle86

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2015
    Messages:
    163
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada, B. C.
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I always daydream about being a girl. Sitting under an unbrella on the beach wearing a sunhat, shades and a pink lace bikini.

    I`m usly a male when I dream :frowning2: , at least I normally am with girls who I think are pojections of my feminine side.