I really, really need to talk to my mom about wearing men's clothes full time... but I have no idea what to do. It's odd, because usually I'm able to be totally open with her about everything... even coming out - it was really difficult to say the words, but I knew I wanted to say them out loud. now I just have no idea... I'm thinking of writing a letter... all I know is that if I talked to her out loud I don't want to look at her face. So I'd either have to o it in the car or on a walk or something. There are several reasons I'm a little bit more worried about confronting her than I would usually be: 1. Money is kind of tight right now (which is mostly my fault - new instrument, band camps, etc.). I hear my parents arguing about it frequently. So.. even if my mom is totally on board, I'm not sure how possible going out and getting a new wardrobe really is right now. - On the flip-side, my dad (the one constantly yelling at my mom not to spend any money) just bought a brand new I-phone. so.. wtf?? :bang: 2. I dunno... gender identity and expression have been a big topic in my family over the past week or so. They watched a documentary on PBS about trans people, and now they think they know everything, which makes all of what I'm going through right now a lot more complicated. I don't want to make my mom all confused. -This isn't me coming out as trans. I might eventually come out as non-binary or something, but right now I'm fine with what I am (to an extent). All I know is that I need not to have to wear girl's clothes any more. Every time I have to put on something even a LITTLE bit feminine I just want to cry. And for YEARS now, clothes shopping has been really painful for me... I can't wait to just fold all of my girlie clothes into a pile and never see them again. Any advice you can give would be fantastic. I'm so ready to do this, I just need to figure out the best way. I need to get this out...
I want to wear girl clothes all the time but I'm not out yet... but I understand the feeling. I think you could find a lot of clothes at good-will or a thrift store. Even just going to walmart or target and getting clothes. Nothing need to be fancy, but as long as you have male clothes, I think it will help.
Hi... If you really don't want to talk to her face to face then is it because you'd rather avoid confrontation? Either way try to talk to her outside in a neutral place. You could go for a walk and then bring up the conversation when your sitting on a bench or in a cafe somewhere. that way you would both be relaxed and your mum may be more open-minded that way with the money thing, remember that charity or thrift shops are a way to get clothes for low amounts of money. even if that isn't possible the next time you get clothes they will be for a man so your collection of male clothes will build up over time anyway. Also if your dad can still get a new phone then your family may have more money to spare than you think. If you explain to your mum how much feminine clothing bothers you then she will be more willing to buy you clothes. are hand me downs from any family members a choice? I'm sorry if this is of no use to you P.S. I'm sure everything will go well
1. I think the reason i:'m not so wild about talking to her is because I don't want to see that little look of shock and confusion (fear, even) flash across her face when she hears me. I know she'll be supportive, but there's always that moment when the other person is absorbing what you're saying... I can't blame her for it, obviously, but it still feels like being stabbed in the gut...:icon_sad: 2. Not... Really... I only have one sibling, who is also a girl, so boys' hand-me-downs never come to us. I could always ASK, but that would require a certain degree of coming out to my entire family, which I'm not quite ready for. 3. No worries. I'm grateful for anyone who takes the time and energy to respond.
