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Gendered Titles(?)

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by StanOWar, Jul 6, 2015.

  1. StanOWar

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    Can I still enjoy them and consider myself trans?

    Like I mean I like alternating pronouns and I present myself both as male and female, but there are certain titles I guess that I have an attachment to that I don't want to give up. For instance I've always hated Girlfriend/Boyfriend or young man/ young lady. I don't like Ms. or Mr. However I don't want my siblings to call me sibling or switch between brother and sister and I don't want my mom to call me her child or alternate between daughter and son. I want them all to refer to me as they always have because THOSE titles don't bother me. In fact maybe it comes from sentimental attachment, but I like when they call me those things.

    But then that makes me worried. If I don't enforce bigender or gender neutrality in all aspects of my life than I won't be taken seriously and my feelings will be dismissed. I feel like I have to be extreme in every regard to get what I want.

    Does it make me less trans if I don't demand they say sibling or child or alternate? Is it okay that I have comfort in what they've always called me?
     
  2. Xander27

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    I think that's valid, no matter what you I identify as the purpose of stating your preferred pronouns is for your comfort, because no one likes to be misgendered. If a particular situation doesn't make you feel misgendered or doesn't cause you discomfort, then if you don't want to make a big deal of it, don't. If being called daughter/son or brother/sister makes you feel more comfortable, even when/if it's a misgendering, then I'd say roll with it. Because if, and only if, your comfortable with it, it may be one way to make your family slightly more comfortable with you (meaning only the sense that it can be difficult and anxiety inducing to change what you've called someone all their life, if they love you they should be willing to try, obviously, but if it doesn't matter to you...)

    I can relate, because even though I haven't really come to terms with my gender/figured it out, I avoid miss/ma'am/young lady, don't mind sir/mister/young man, but don't mind being called sister and daughter, in fact I'd be very disturbed if my brother called me anything that's not 'hey sis'
     
  3. StanOWar

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    Sorry for the late replay I don't get on much, but thanks for sharing.

    I'm still partially figuring out my gender too, like whether I'm fluid or bigender or what. Ive settled on fluid for now. But I just I don't know I've always been my brothers' little sister. Even though I feel male as well, I just can't see them calling me anything other than their sister, and I'm just so proud to be an Aunt that I don't want that term to change.

    But those other ones make my skin crawl and I guess I just worry about the implications of it if I allow some and not others you know.