Whyyyyyy?!

Really, I think that is a normal feeling to have about any major surgery. You still have time to consider having thay surgery though. It's not like you are having it tomorrow.

 

Most surgeries seem really grotesque, and I can see why it would be even more so with genital surgery.

You don't really need to know/dwell on the process, that's for the doctors mostly. Just try to think about the outcome.

When I watched a few videos of both upper and lower surgery for FtMs, it kinda grossed me out and scared me too. But that's completely normal.

But then I guess knowledge is good, since then you'll be aware of what is going to (possibly) be done to your own body. That can help you decide if you do in fact want that.

When I was considering my own surgery path, first I thought "Heck yeah I'm getting all the surgeries!" Then I researched more details on lower surgery in particular, and reconsidered. It's important with surgeries to know why you want that done, and if it's not absolutely necessary then I'd advise against it.

 

Even though it might seem gross, I think it's important to know what's going on with your body especially with a major surgery like that. Even though it might have been gross to watch, at least you can consider yourself a bit educated on the matter and more prepared for it, should you choose to go through with it one day.

 

I watched a mtf video of a similar nature. I'm not good with large amounts of blood, but at least its good to know how they construct the vagina. It kinda makes me think I'm a masochist for even considering having that done in some point in time. I least I have had knockout surgeries before so I know it would be over in a few seconds. Plus the after/3 year pics were pretty good.

 

ive had about 15 surgeries in my life, everything from club feet surgeries to open heart. do not freak your self out by watching videos. i did after the fact and, Yeah! you're going to be asleep for the whole thing anyway, why get yourself in knotts when you wont see anything anyway! its the result your looking for not the proceedure.

 

It's funny, because when I watched SRS stuff, I found it interesting and thought "this is a great idea, sign me up!" It's probably the biggest testament to my resolve and I usually bring it up when somebody says "are you sure?"

 

I've had major operations before and the last thing that I wanted to know was how it would look for the doctor to saw off my bone and attach a new one... sometimes ignorance really is bliss! In my eyes, all I need to know is that I will go to bed with male private parts and wake up with female private parts, it will be very painful for a few weeks or so mainly because of physiotherapy but it will be a part of me and it will feel as such.

 

That's probably the smarter way. Imagine it's magic--it's much more fun than science.

 

Personally, I can handle blood and gore. I've had zero reaction to stuff that made others freak out. Since you watched live srs, you could have just had a typical reaction consistent with being disgusted or disturbed. Perfectly normal. With any surgery or procedure it is important to think of the end result. Over thinking srs could make you sick in the head, with surgery most patients will feel sick or experience a roller-coaster ride of emotions. It's a psychological and sensitivity thing. The point is to not over think the procedure, especially if you are sensitive to graphic things like blood and gore. Like I said, think of think he end result and not the procedure itself. Also remember that you would be asleep during the procedure.

*Long story short, you can gross yourself out if you think about it too much. And don't let a graphic video discourage you. Also, please pardon the longness of my post. I hope you will understand what I typed, if not just use this little starred paragraph. ^-^
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